What is it with oxymorons? Why do people even use them in a sentence? At times I think of some of them when I am pondering what nonsense to post here.

For instance, what is a “silent scream?” If it is silent, how does one know you are screaming? You could just be making weird faces with your mouth.

What is meant by a lead balloon? Is it a balloon filled with lead? If a balloon filled with lead how can it even be called a balloon?

What about “going nowhere”? Isn’t it a fact that if you are going… there must be someplace you are going to? Where is nowhere?

What about the oxymoron “pretty ugly”? Isn’t it true that one can be pretty, or they can be ugly but what is ‘pretty ugly?”  Just so-so ugly!

And then there is “growing smaller”? What are they doing – shrinking?

Here is one – “only choice”. If ‘only’ there is no choice to be had.

And what is it with people taking a “working vacation?” Either you are working, or you are on vacation.

When I think of my finances, I think that either I am earning money, or I am not earning money. What is with “negative income”?  Either you have money coming in or you do not.

By now you have probably figured out that Irwin has too much time on his hands whereas I see it that I am wondering/pondering about the English language and the meanings associated with certain words and/or phrases. After all, we must spend our time doing something.

For those of you that know your English language, you know that an oxymoron is a figure of speech, usually one or two words, which seemingly cancels each other out. One could also call this contradiction a paradox (logical puzzle that seems to contradict itself).

For some writers, use of an oxymoron is merely a literary device used to describe life’s inherent struggles.  As shown above, oxymorons can also lend a sense of humor to a story or they can also be ironic and/or sarcastic in nature. But enough about oxymorons.

Seeing that it is Father’s Day, I promised myself I would do two things today – One, write a post for this blog site and two, work on my book, I had best end this and move on to the book.

But before I go – I am not done with my silliness – believe it or not I have come up with some words that don’t exist, but really should and so I thought I would share a few with you.

PEPPIER – The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be waiting around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

CARPERPETUATION – The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, bending over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

PUPKUS – The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

Okay, okay, so I am not done yet! I just thought of a few


Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I feel like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

And finally the one I enjoy the most:

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Hope all you fathers out there had a great Father’s Day.

Finally, for those of you out there in Never Never Land – one more ZEN Thought and this one is directed to those of you that believe in telekinesis –

Raise my Hand…

Until next time!

4 thoughts on “Oxymorons!

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