BINGO

Card or Online – Lots of Fun

What shall I talk about today or shall I say “rant and rave” about? Being the old fart that I am, let’s talk about something seniors and retirees such as myself have been doing for centuries and that is play BINGO!

What is it about the game of BINGO that fascinates players around the world today? Yes, I said, around the world. For those of you unfamiliar with the game, believe it or not, Bingo has been around since before 1530 and really only came into being in the United States in the 1900s when it was a carnival game by the name of “beano.”

But, as members of the community where I live know it, Bingo is a game they cannot wait to play every Monday night. It is interesting to me how many players look forward to their Monday evening night of fun and the things they do to personalize it and make it their own. For instance, say the games only start at 7 PM, players will actually come to our clubhouse several hours before, enter the hall, choose or should I say mark their table by placing something personal in the spot they intend to sit at for the three hours once the games begin, leave and then return about 30 – 40 minutes prior to the games starting time. And woe is the individual that attempts to sit in that spot (usually the newbie that has never played before and doesn’t know how the game is played). Dedicated players take Bingo playing very seriously as evidenced by the marking of their territory.

But, truth be told, no matter where bingo is being played or what seat you end up sitting in, playing bingo brings joy to seniors and retirees all over the world as they come together to enjoy a night of fun as they share the thrill of an active (depending on the caller), animated game.

While it has been some time since I have actually sat and played Bingo, just listening to the callers yell out some of the cute catchphrases that represent the actual number can be entertaining in and of itself. For instance, “One dozen” would be called for the number 12 or quite possibly, “Unlucky” might be called for the number 13. I could go on but I am sure you get my drift.

Bottom line – I am keeping this post short as I myself am new when it comes to the history of BINGO. Fact is I will be learning more as I go along. But, believe it or not, bingo is now one of the most popular games in the world. I mean think about it – it is so easy to pick up, it is not hard to follow, is a great game to bring people together, and get them chatting. And this applies to whether it is played in a clubhouse, in a classroom, or now that we have the Internet and access to so many “smart” devices, it’s a great game of fun, luck of the draw, and speed.

Bingo first went online in 1996 and as a game that is continually developing and changing, easily offers players numerous choices on how to play the game. An educated guess is that more than 9,000 to 10,000 games of bingo are played every day online in addition to the Bingo halls which now offer both the table games as well as access to the online games.

Who knows, I may even go back to playing Bingo on Monday evenings here in our park as I am sure my wife would enjoy a night out once a week. That’s it for now,

Until next time!

Poop Talk!

“I didn’t do it!”

As we know, most animals, including our best friend – the dog – are vegetarian. As a result, after they have eaten, their poop forms what are known as fecal balls. I am sure you have watched your pet poop more times than you care to mention and would agree, that many times their poop forms what one might call fecal balls. Think of a Zen garden – you know what I am talking about. These lovable furry creatures of ours poop out these fecal balls that gently cascade out of their butts like they would in a zen pebble garden fountain. I know, this isn’t always the way. There are times that they occasionally get sick, and like us, get diarrhea, etc. which does stain their fur and irritate their butt. True – not fun for either them or us. 

But not all animals are vegetarians, if they aren’t vegetarians, they are considered carnivores. How does this make a difference? Well, let us just say that carnivore poop is many magnitudes grosser than vegetarian poop. Think of your childhood bunnies. Their poop came out like little raisinets and wasn’t that hard to clean up after. But, thinking of your furry tabby cat – well, let’s just say that “tabby” can clear the room just by dropping a single solidary turd. Thinking about carnivores and their diet, they don’t need all the roughage we eat because if you think about it, they get some of their roughage by eating the fur and sinew of its prey not to mention all the fur they ingest with their own grooming habits.

We humans are omnivorous, eating just about whatever is placed in front of us today. Some of us are better about eating roughage, vegetables, etc., than others. But what possibly comes from eating high  protein and high carbohydrates? Quite possibly we will eventually experience what are known as the   Jackson Pollock shits (the phrase refers to the way in which Jackson Pollock painted – just splattering paint everywhere – our letting loose would be like splattering the toilet bowl with poop or diarrhea.

Let’s think about our anatomy for a minute – we are considered bipedal meaning we have well developed gluteal muscles that actually infringe on the anal playing field. I am not a hockey player but let’s just say that it would be like playing field hockey in a back alley. What this means is that you will be able to do it but you are going to hit the walls a lot with the puck. Quadrupeds have a different muscle orientation. Their muscle mass is to the side (versus directly behind). How do we bypass this anatomic hurdle? By doing what is considered to be a deep squat. What this does is bring our gluteals to the lateral thus clearing the airfield ……..Bombs away! Think about it for a moment.

How many of us sit on our toilet looking at our smart phone while laughing at some comedy via Facebook while trying to do our duty. Problem? Yup – our butt cheeks are squeezed together and well – here comes Jackson Pollock again – we end up painting the walls. With the block almost being opened up we find ourselves trying to eject that final turd with magnum cannon force. And we are doing so while reflexively clenching our puckerino. What does that mean? Well, remember when you were a kid and you wanted to spray your sister when she was trying to look cool while sunbathing with her friends? What do you do – you take the garden hose, put your thumb over the head of the hose and spray her! Got the picture?

Moral of the story – eat your veggies so that should you ever get a flair in your derriere you can cop a proper squat and relax the cracks.

Donut and Coffee

Thought I would write something different today – so I am going to share a “Drabble” with you entitled: Apple Fritter!

What is it about the day when we wake and know not what it is we hope to accomplish? Is it boredom? Pure laziness? Is this what retirement is all about? Shouldn’t there be something more? How do we overcome these slumps? I know – coffee and a donut! But then there is always the weight issue to be concerned about. But truly one donut and a cup of coffee shouldn’t make all that difference. Besides, my colonoscopy prep is tomorrow. How long will that donut be in me? Perhaps, I should go with an apple fritter instead. Yummy – can’t wait!

coffee and donut

Humor

Be Funny!

“The great virtue of humor is that it is philosophizing in action, a bright silver thread in the great duvet of existence. And one can easily engage in it for an hour or two every day.” –Simon Critchley, On Humour

Someone once said: “You have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep yourself in balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy.”

I have learned over the years that it is much easier for me to think of something funny when things do not go exactly as I have planned otherwise I tend to get moody, even disagreeable and all that does is upset others that may be with me.

Think about it – humor can take you away from whatever is bothering you, even if only for an instance, making whatever is bothering us easier to bear. It is like taking a “time out” or a “breather.” What we do during that minibreak from reality is regain our strength enabling us to gather our resources ready to move forward.

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs – jolted by every pebble in the road. – Henry Ward Beecher, American clergyman

If we look at life that we are here to have a good time, then we should be doing exactly that – looking for whatever opportunity we can find to enjoy ourselves, and in the process, instead of becoming angry or upset with others in our company, look upon them as playmates versus the enemy.

This thought process holds true in many a situation. For instance, instead of becoming upset because traffic is held up ahead of you, think of something funny to occupy your time while waiting for traffic to clear. Becoming upset and angry over things out of your control does nobody any good. As a matter of fact, think of how bad you would really feel, if the next morning while having your coffee, you read about the accident that held up traffic on the road you were on yesterday and learned that several people died.

Sort of puts why we shouldn’t be so quick to get upset over things that are out of our control in perspective, doesn’t it?

Let me conclude this piece with the following:

“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” – Aldous Huxley

Black Moon

Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.” ― Carrie Fisher

The above is a quote I came across while trying to figure out what I wanted to rant and rave about during this week’s post. I have been coming up empty regarding ideas to write about as I usually have a boatload of comical items to write about. But, with the negative news we continually read about and all the crap our country is going through, it is hard to get, let alone stay, in a comical mood. Enter the above quote which got me to thinking – something I am constantly doing – “hey, go through the wild and crazy news articles you read about each morning and find something wild and crazy to write about and just go for it.” As Carrie Fisher says above: “Stay afraid, but do it anyway.”

With that thought in mind, I decided to look at some of the news articles being discussed today and lo and behold, I came across an article on Black Moon.  

Black Moon – Use your imagination!

With that I decided to venture into another world and write a different type of post. Here goes:

One of the top news stories today is the fact that today, July 31, 2019 we will experience what is known as a Black Moon. So what is a Black Moon? Well we have heard of blood moon, full moon, quarter moon, maybe even a blue moon but how many of us have heard about a black moon?

According to what I have read, this phenomenon known as a “Black Moon” will be occurring again this evening in North America. The last time anyone recalled a “Black Moon” was in 2016. Now this phenomenon will only be seen in North America this evening. Sorry other parts of the world, you will have to wait until August 30 to catch your glimpse of a Black Moon.

But, here’s the thing, what does this even mean to us lowly humans. Is it important? First thing we need to learn is – “what in the world is a black moon?”

Supposedly a black moon is – are you ready for this – the second new moon of the month – yes, I said second new moon of the month, a rarity in and of itself. Let me provide a few more details but believe me when I say, I am definitely not an expert in this field. A black moon is similar to a Leap Year. As we know, a lunar cycle takes about 29 days to complete. Easy – right? Not true! Our months as we know are slightly longer with some being 30 days and others being 31. How does that old saying go when we wanted to remember which ones had 30 days and which had 31 days:

30 days has September, April, June, and November

All the rest have 31 except February which has 28

 So, using the theory mentioned above, sometimes, about every 32 months, we experience two full moons or as they have been referred to: New Moons. Taking it one step further, the second full moon in a month is called a blue moon while the second new moon is called a black moon.

Now remember my little diddy about remembering which months had 30 days versus those that had 31 days. Well,  guess which month has no new moons? If you guessed February, you would be correct because there are no new moons in February because of its few days (remember there are only 28 days in February except for the Leap Year which has 29 days). Supposedly this is less common than the other type of black moon and only occurs about once a decade.

Now before you set your alarm clock to go out tonight and see the black moon, let me burst your bubble ahead of time. Chances are that you will not see anything because, well, a black moon is nothing other than a new moon. So, what’s the big fuss about – well it is the second new moon of the month. This new moon will probably blend in with the sky so well, you may not even see the moon. And that is a shame too because it is also supposed to be a supermoon which means that the moon will appear bigger than usual. Why, because it is closer to the Earth but again I mention, seeing that it’s a new moon, you still won’t be able to really see it. 

And therein lies your science lesson for today or consider it a lesson in Selenology (in Greek, our moon is named “Selene,” as is the moon goddess of ancient Greek mythology. The English word “selenology,” or the study of the moon’s geology, derives from it). Hopefully I will be able to come up with something more comical to write about next week.

But, at least it wasn’t all bad news. Not comical, but not tragic either.

Until next time!