Seeing that I will, in less than two years, become an octogenarian, on occasion my mindset runs rampant thinking about items to write about that relate to others in my position. But being the unique and weird person that I am, my writings tend to take a weird twist – hopefully in a comical way. When I think of men my age, I think of them as old geezers which as you guessed it – I too, consider myself to be an old geezer!
It is said that the definition of a geezer, when used today is used affectionately to mean “an elderly fellow.” Other definitions out there refer to an old geezer as: “an odd, eccentric, or unreasonable person (usually a man); especially: an old man. Oh, one other thing before I move on – geezers are also supposedly between the age of 60 to 75. Does that make me ancient? But I digress!
Naturally when one thinks about the word old – the question comes to mind – “Well, how old is he?”
To set the stage for what is about to follow – I have to talk a bit about physics. I say “bit” because that is about the amount of physics I remember from my school years, a “bit.”
I have read and it has been said that the closer one gets to the speed of light the slower time goes – until presumably time would hit a dead end. With this thought in mind, one might think that the older us (or is it we) geezers get, the closer our driving speed gets to a dead stop. Stay with me now as it will get better the more I write or at least I hope it will.
Need a picture to help make this more clearer – OK – Picture us taking the oldest geezer in the world (and no, that would not be me) and place that individual behind the steering wheel of a car (and not one of those new fang-dangled ones that self-drive themselves). Chances are that this old geezer could burn through an entire tank of gasoline without going anyplace.
Are you with me so far? It gets better, I haven’t even added glaucoma and/or macular degeneration into the mix yet. When either of these two ailments are added, well, the combination adds not being able to see what’s coming ahead of us. Looking at how our bodies tend to do their own thing as we age, add the fact that a lot of old geezers are also hard of hearing and that adds yet another sense required or necessary to be able to drive.
Oops, speaking about our bodies, I forgot several other things our bodies tend to do as we age. Our muscles, nervous system, lack of flexibility, and slower reaction time also enters the picture. Stay with me as I am getting closer to the point of this article.
What does all this mean? Just this. The next time you are on an expressway and behind an old geezer, keep in mind the fact that while even though he may be doing 30 miles per hour, to him – 30 mph is fast! Why?
Because he can’t see, hear, or act fast enough to get out of the way! So forget the definitions you read above as to what is meant by an old geezer.
An old geezer is this slow-moving, high-pants wearing, hard candy sucking – Yoda of yesteryear. It is at that point in time that you must heed the words of Yoda: “Patience you must have my young Padawan.”
Better yet, get off at the next Exit and have yourself an Expresso before heading to your destination.