To those of you who follow my antics

Just a few words to thank those of you who take time from your busy schedules to follow some of my crazy writings – Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I must admit, I still do not have the mechanics of Word Press down pat and as a result I am sure I overlook telling those that read my material how much  I appreciate their doing so.

I try to write/post once a week and as soon as I see that someone has read and commented on what it is I wrote, I try my best to reply. But if I missed indicating that I seen you replied, I am sorry. One of these days  I will master Word Press.

Have a great day.

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“I Can’t Believe I Ate the Whole Thing”

At times I wonder why it is I continue writing, be it for this blog, the one I contribute to at http://community.retirement-online.com/profile/IrwinLengel or my monthly column for our community newsletter. But no sooner does the question pop up in my mind, it disappears almost immediately once I turn on my computer and start thinking of wild and crazy things to write about.

Yup, to steal a line from Steve Martin – I am one wild and crazy guy. With that thought in mind I decided that I would try to write a post this week using a one-liner from a past tv show or in this instance an advertisement from one of those shows.  The hard part is going to be to try and work the one-liner into the blog so that it seems to be part of the post. But here goes:

For instance, for lunch today we had home-made Chimichangas.

Chimichanga

Now, for those of you who have had this Mexican Spanish dish, you know that in some restaurants they are moderate in size while in others they might be rather substantial. Well, with ours being home-made and a way to use up some of our fresh vegetables, suffice it to say ours are pretty substantial. But before I go much further allow me to give a brief summation of the history of the Chimichanga.

As a matter of information and thanks to Wikipedia – the words chimi and changa come from two Mexican Spanish terms: chamuscado, (past participle of the verb chamuscar) which means seared or singed, and change, related to chinga, (third-person present tense form of the vulgar verb chingar), a rude expression for the unexpected or a small insult.

Enough with the Mexican Spanish lesson, let’s get on with one of several stories about how this Mexican Spanish dish came about. According to Wikipedia and one of its sources, the founder of the Tucson, Arizona, restaurant El Charro, Monica Flin, accidentally dropped a burrito into the deep-fat fryer in 1922. She immediately began to utter a Spanish profanity beginning “chi…” (chingada), but quickly stopped herself and instead exclaimed chimichanga, a Spanish equivalent of “thingamajig.” We will leave it there by saying and the rest is history.

Upon devouring our huge chimichanga for lunch, when finishing the last bite, I looked at my wife and coyly said: “I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.” For those of you too young to remember this saying it is from an old Alka Seltzer advertisement. When someone overate, and was full of gas and/or bloated, they would reach for the Alka Seltzer bottle and prior to popping two alka seltzer tablets into a glass of water would say: I can’t believe I ate the whole thing!”  Hope you enjoyed my craziness.

alka seltzer

 

Posted in Rants, Senior Moments, Uncategorized, Writing | 3 Comments

“Who Knew?”

These past few months on the road have given me a new perspective of things to write about. First off, I have become overly fond of two words: “Who knew?”

So whenever I come across material that at least seemed new to me or was a concept I never even gave thought to – I will use the phraseology: “Who knew?”

For instance, while perusing some readings lately, I came across the question:
“Did Lady Godiva really ride naked through Coventry?” Interesting question, isn’t it?
Most people immediately picture this beautiful woman completely naked riding through the countryside on a magnificent horse with her golden hair blowing in the wind.
But how many people take the time to find out if this was myth or true. A better question that comes to mind is: “Why did she do it?

This is a true happening. Her husband was a very strict tax collector, but she herself did not like the fact that the people had to pay such high taxes. She tried to appeal to his sense of good will, hoping he would give the good people a break and not tax them so much but to her dismay, nay – he would not relent. Finally, after listening to her beg him and beg him day after day, he said to her one day – if you would ride through the town unclothed, he would relent in his pursuit of the high taxes.

He was probably wishing he would not have made such a statement when she took him up on his offer but, fair was fair, and he did honor his promise. As a result, Lady Godiva became a heroine in history and is so to this day. “Who knew?”

lady-godiva

The story does not end there though because before she rode through the town naked as a jaybird on top of her steed, she asked the townspeople to look away so as to not see her naked. Being grateful for what she had done, all did except for one man, a man called Tom.

Are you ready for this: Hence the arrival of yet another phrase known to man today – that of the “Peeping Tom!” I repeat, “Who knew?”

peeping-tom
Until next time!

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“Living in the Moment!”

”What is meant by the saying “Living in the Moment!”

Life is Good

I would like to think that it means enjoying whatever one is doing at any moment in time be it reading a book; writing in one’s journal; having dinner with friends and/or family; or working on a project such as a minor home repair job, hobby, or possibly attending to an odd job for a friend.

Living in the moment though does not mean we can forego looking towards the future. Oh, I am sure there are some people that think – “with all the turmoil going on in our world today – who knows what tomorrow might bring and therefore I am going to live for today and let the chips fall where they may with regards tomorrow.” That may be all well and good but as those of us who have recently made it through Hurricane Irma know – there is more to the statement “Live for Today” than some people realize.

I recently wrote an article entitled “Bump in the Road” and how life tends to throw such bumps at us now and then. Well, Hurricane Irma was one such bump. What some people may not be aware of are the “after bumps” we must take into consideration as well.

While many of us made it through Hurricane Irma ‘unscathed,” the fact of the matter is what if we would have been one of the unfortunate ones that weren’t so lucky? It is a thought that crosses my mind every time such an event takes place.

In planning for the evacuation of our home, we had to gather food, water, prescription drugs, clothing for two or three days, flashlights, important papers and so forth just in case our homes were damaged or quite possibly destroyed. Note: It was mentioned in the news that 25% of the homes in the Florida Keys were destroyed by Hurricane Irma. One of the thoughts, if not the main thought, that runs through one’s mind other than merely surviving at times like these are: In addition to what I am supposed to take with, what other possessions should I take with – you know – just in case?

They say material things can be replaced and I concur with that thought process but another fact is: while houses, cars, clothing, and high-tech toys can be replaced – what constitutes important information? How many of us have taken the time to record and keep safe data necessary to rebuild our lives after an event such as Irma should we be one of those unfortunate individuals that lose everything? I am talking about having a record of such things as bank account information, driver’s license numbers, insurance policy information (house, car, health, life), wills, passwords, and so forth?

These are the essentials needed to rebuild (yes – rebuild) one’s life in today’s high-tech world when a tragedy such as Irma strikes. While I have tried to maintain such records over the years – it is events such as this that always leaves me wondering – “Am I truly prepared?”

I am reminded of a television commercial some years back – and I believe it was for “Capital One” where the commercial says: “What’s in Your Wallet?” By the way, disasters come in all forms – they do not have to be the result of a hurricane.

Living in the Moment is one thing – attempting to revive all the data that proves you were living and are still living is yet another thing. Some things need to be thought about today, and tomorrow, and the next day as well.

Until next time!

Posted in Humor, Live for Today, Routine, Writing | Tagged | 9 Comments

Bump In The Road

Mistake

The only problem with getting out of bed at night to write is that I do not get up as early as I would like to the next day. But, when retired, like those of us who are, “Does it really matter?”  My answer to this question is a resounding yes – it does matter! My thoughts on this subject are that we should strive to be as consistent as possible with our daily routines.

For me, having a consistent schedule allows me to function without confusion, doubt, or whatever as to what it is I need to do each day. Getting up at the same time every day, stretching, taking my morning walk, taking my morning prescriptions, etc. enables me to prepare my mind for whatever I had thought about doing that day. Some days I prepare a list before I go to bed as to what I want to accomplish the next day and other times I wait until I am having my morning coffee to make such a list. I try to make it a point to retire at the same time each night and most nights stay in bed and not get up and write.

This daily “to do” list keeps me grounded. I know exactly what I want to get done and at my age I also recognize the fact that some of it will be done while other items may get moved to the following day’s list of “To do’s.” The neat part about such a routine is that, in life, we come across what one famous person called “bumps in the road.” Having such a list enables us to – address the “bump in the road” and come back to the list another day. Most of the time the list represents things that we would like to do and in some instances, need to do …………….but………..chances are none of them are emergency type situations thus should a “bump” occur, we can easily stop everything and address the “bump.”

Do we ever complete our list of “to do’s?”  If you are like me, probably not. Some get done on the day you planned on doing them, others get moved to the next day, and some get moved so often that eventually you say to yourself – apparently this one is not that important and it gets deleted completely from the list.

Bottom line is that the list gives us a purpose and should a “bump in the road” occur, enjoy the good times you had prior to the bump – address the bump whatever it may be or if possible, walk away from the bump – do not let it get the best of you, and get on with your life.  Remember – you are in charge of your own destiny!

Until next time!

Posted in Contentment, Live for Today, Routine, The Future, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , | 18 Comments

When Do I Get to Laugh?

Here it is time for me to rant and rave once again as an old fart. When I first started blogging several years ago, it was suggested that I find my niche – “Niche: a place, employment, status, or activity for which a person or thing is best fitted, i.e., finally found his niche.” 

As one might surmise from reading my “About Me” page – I have no true niche. Basically, I have two thoughts that serve as my ‘niche’ – talking about and sharing retirement experiences and ranting and raving on just about anything that crosses my mind. But, there is usually one common thread I weave through anything that I write about and that is – I try to make it comical.

For me, pretty much I am the happiest while in front of my computer attempting to create a piece of writing that is both informative and comical – and for those of you who have been following my rants and raves for some time – I am sure you will agree – at times the information provided is more comical than informative.There is a reason for my madness though and that is with all the negative news floating around the Internet, TV, Radio, Facebook, Newspapers, and whatever other means of communication is available to us: “Enough already” – when do I get to laugh?

With that, allow me to take you into my crazy mixed up world of sayings, signs, and a picture or two. Within the confines of my office one will find all types of mementos that we have picked up over the years, had given to us or are pictures that made us laugh at some silly moment in time. For instance – in the morning if I am not feeling up to par – all I need to do is look at one sign I captured via my camera once and I am ready for just about anything.

 

 

Drink Coffee

And then there are days where I must do considerable research but don’t feel like it. What do I do – you got it – look at yet another plaque on the wall like this one about studying:

Why study

I could go on and on but I should save some of these for another post. Fact of the matter is that we all have our – how should I put it – our “Out of Sorts Day!” Fortunately, I do not have many of those days but when I do, all I need to do is make a cup of coffee, go in my office, sit down in my chair and just reminisce by looking at all the mementos, pictures, and wild and crazy sayings I have hanging there. Before you know it, I am back to my old self – thinking up goofy posts to write about and share with you here so that you can share in my madness too!

Remember: “Growing Old is Mandatory – Growing Up is Optional” and I choose not to grow up. Plus, I would rather be happy than grumpy – and besides, believe me when you get right down to it – it is so much more fun! 

 

20160722_113711

Have a great day.  Until next post!

Posted in Humor, Live for Today, Rants, Senior Moments, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged | 9 Comments

Women!

women-serie-4-1541894

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am finally willing to admit that, while not often, but definitely in certain instances, men and women act differently. Let’s face it guys, when was the last time you were out in mixed company and said to your neighbor – “Hey Fred, care to go to the bathroom with me?” Such a comment would not be made unless the individual asking the question was three sheets to the wind and has no problem getting a fat lip for his ignorance.

Of course, far be it for me to admit that I know the opposite sex. My wife and I are married fifty-four plus years and at times she still baffles me. What is it with women and yard sales? Don’t they know that the stuff other people are willing to part with for fifty cents is the same stuff we have sitting around our house, except in our house we call them souvenirs – (although I have been known to call some of it “junk” much to the dismay of my wife).  I am definitely not one that believes another man’s trash is going to become my treasure!

But, to each their own – for instance – I have a son and daughter-in-law that live for garage sales, and when visiting we make it a point to go with them on Saturdays making a day of it (Look out Dunkin Donuts – here we come!) And I must admit that on occasion while in their company foraging through other people’s stuff, I actually have found some items of value to me (usually in the form of a book or journal of some sort).

yard-sale-1228574

Another reason why I would be the first one to admit that I do not know women – has to do with timeliness. Is it my imagination or is every woman always late getting ready to go someplace? Take me for instance, I love to go for a morning walk basically six days a week (I mean let’s face it – even God rested on Sundays), so I prepare and lay everything out the night before and as a result am ready to hit the door running (or I should say walking – I no longer run anyplace at my age) at about 5:45 AM. Why? Because I know that my morning walk will take me approximately 45 minutes, allowing me just enough time to have breakfast, grab a fast shower upon my return, still allowing me time to dress and be ready to walk out the door at 7:35 AM Monday through Friday.

Why such an early hour say those of you that prefer to sleep late most days now that you are retired? It just so happens that we teach a line dance class from 7:45 AM until 8:30 AM five days a week. More times than not, she runs at least five to ten minutes behind making our trip to the clubhouse which is just five minutes away – a marathon we are trying to win. But, truth be told – we usually get there as the others are arriving and so we aren’t truly late to the party. But, on the other hand, let the occasion be our going to the theater to hear someone sing or perform or perhaps make a trip to visit our daughter and she will be the first one out the door saying to me, “ Hurry up we don’t want to be late!” Priorities – we guys have our priorities!

Here is another example. We have this weekly event that we go to every Saturday morning – coffee and donuts at the clubhouse. The guys sit together at a couple of tables and the women sit together at a separate group of tables. That way they can gossip about female things while we guys talk about the important things happening in the world today – you know sports, vehicles, past job escapades and the like.

But the one question that tends to rise almost every Saturday morning is: What are you going to do when you leave here this morning?” Before I answer that allow me to explain a bit about where we live. Living where we do, we are about a thirty minute car ride to a casino. Did you ever give thought to how many senior citizens love to gamble? Living in the community we do, we have several couples that definitely look forward to going to the casino after coffee on a Saturday morning. While one particular couple actually goes to “yard or garage sales” most Saturday mornings, I would venture to say many of them prefer to go to the Casino after Saturday morning coffee.

In some instances, once there, they spend the balance of their Saturday feeding the “one-arm bandits” as we affectionately called them back in the day.  One thing I have learned from listening to the stories shared over coffee on these Saturday mornings is just this – in many instances, it is the women that win on the days they go to the casino. Now why is that?

slot-machines-1239673

See, I told you I don’t know much about women!

Posted in Humor, Rants, Senior Moments, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 15 Comments

Now then!

irony-in-the-rain

Did you ever want to do something silly with words? Well, not knowing what to write about on my blog today – and being late doesn’t help either – I decided to put together a crazy post using oxymorons.

It is no open secret that if you act naturally people will think that you are as sane as they are. But are we?

As I sit here, clearly confused, trying my best to compose this post, I sit in deafening silence.

It would appear the constant variable in this whole blogging situation is that one attempts to share his or her unbiased opinion of life in general.

Take myself for instance, I am a genuine imitation of a wannabe writer.  I do my best to be seriously funny while at the same time provide readers with almost exactly what I think they might want to read.

It is the only choice I have in this tragic comedy called life and I will give you even odds there is a definite maybe this piece will be an exact estimate of what I wanted it to be.

I can tell that it is about time for me to come to a rolling stop because not only have I met my goal of writing a post, I have also accomplished my goal of writing 200 words a day.

Minor crisis avoided! The virtual reality of the situation though is I must now give thought to next week’s topic. No working holiday for me.

Until next time!

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Living the good life

Check out my guest post at: http://retirementandgoodliving.com/retirement-life

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What to Say – What to Say?

writing

Have you ever sat down to write an article to share with your readers and come up with: “zero, zip, zilch, nada”, or in other words, a blank space and nothing to insert in it?

Well, that is the dilemma I faced when I sat down at my desk this afternoon. However, as you will soon see, my attempt to not to let that stop me, found me looking back at previous writings and I came up with something that will hopefully make you laugh, smile, or even say – uh, oh: “Irwin has finally lost it!”

But, what can I say – I am determined to write even if it is jibberish – so be it! Chances are you will get a kick out of it and if so – well, my job for today is done and I can get back to wondering what I will write tomorrow. So here goes:

I love to play with words and see what I can do with them to make others laugh, smile, or at least get a chuckle out of my nonsense. So here are a few words along with a “different” definition than what you would expect.  I can only hope that after reading them you will get a laugh or two out of my zaniness. Enjoy!

Rectum – nearly killed ‘em

Remind – a brain transplant

Sonogram – a telegram from your son

Stagnation – a country of single men

Sweet 16 – just down the hall from suite 14

Oxymoron – as dumb as an ox

Polite – a lamp on a pole

Now that you are all as smart as I am, I guess I will go on to writing more jibberish as I need to come up with yet another post for a different website I post to. And then there is the quest of meeting my daily quota of writing 200 words as day with the intent on publishing another Kindle eBook sometime in the near future.  Wish me luck!

Have a fantastic day. Until next time!

 

Posted in Humor, Rants, Uncategorized, Writing | 21 Comments