Where has July gone – hard to believe we have only one week left in July.
Let us start out this post by reading Ten Fun Facts
- You can’t see your ears without a mirror
- You can’t count your hair
- You can’t breathe through your nose with your tongue out
- Bet you tried number 3
- When you did try number 3 you realized that it is possible, but you swear you won’t do it again because you looked like a dog
- You are smiling right now because you were fooled
- You skipped number 9
- You just realized that you haven’t got to number 9
Gee, those caused me to think too much – must take a break for a Zen moment or perhaps I should say Zen Thought or two:
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
As a matter of fact, I feel like I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
What is that you say you think I am confused and bewildered – not so – I have all my faculties. For instance,
I took my car to the garage the other day to repair my brakes, but the mechanic told me he could not repair them. Apparently, my face looked so bewildered and down-trodden after receiving that news, he grabbed me by the shoulders and said: “Hey, not to worry – I made your horn louder.
Am I lucky or what?
The following rants and raves are being directed to all my fellow retirees – you know those of us that have quite a bit of spare time on our hands and need something to do.
The name of this little test is just this:
How Smart Is Your Right Foot?
You must try this – it will only take you a few seconds – or minutes at most.
This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. You’ll want to keep trying to see if you can outsmart your feet, but you can’t.
- While sitting, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
- Now, while doing this, draw the number “6” in the air with your right hand.
You’ll see that your foot will involuntarily change directions.
Now try it …
Okay now that I have you in a completely confused state as to what this blog will be about today, I thought of a couple of questions that have been bugging me:
If you speak only one language, are you lingual?
Can you plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
Why does Jell-O have a smell when you add the powder in the water, but when it “gels” the smell is gone?
Why are dogs’ noses always wet?
If one man says, “it was an uphill battle,” and another says, “It went downhill from there,” how could they both be having troubles?
If there is a speed of sound and a speed of light, is there a speed of smell?
On Gilligan’s Island, how did Ginger have so many different outfits when they were only going on a 3-hour tour?
Do movie producers still say lights, camera, and action when it is a dark scene?
And finally – If there were a thousand seagulls in an airplane while it is flying, each weighing two pounds apiece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?
I was going to stop here and say that is it for this week’s blog post but hey I feel like I am on a roll so let’s go a bit further. As you know, last post I talked about grandparents and so I thought of another story to tell you all about us old folks, although seeing that my wife and I are not only grandparents but great-grandparents, does that make us old old folks?
The story is about a young boy that has a conversation with his grandmother. This young boy asks his grandmother how old she is, to which she replies, “that is none of your business.”
So, being the inquisitive lad that he is, he continues by asking her how much she weighs and again she replies, “that’s none of your business” and so again, not being daunted by her refusal to divulge such information, continues asking her questions this time asking, “why do you and Grandpa sleep in separate bedrooms?” Well, this last question infuriates Grandma and so she gets very angry and at this point sends him off to play – anything to get him out of her sight.
What does the young lad do, well, if Grandma doesn’t want to answer him, perhaps Grandpa will be more accommodating. The lad goes to his grandpa and explains what happened and his grandpa tells him, “Grandmothers are like that, but if he really wants to know, he tells the boy to sneak a peak at her drivers license in her purse.
Shame on you Grandpa – that’s my own edification here. But back to the story.
Later the boy approaches Grandma and says, “I know that you are 66 years old, weigh 152 pounds, and the reason that you don’t sleep with grandpa anymore is because you got an “F” in Sex”.
Out of the mouths of babes!
I could go on and on, but then what would I talk about next week. I hope you enjoyed my rants and raves and I have but one more thing to share with you before I go. Seeing that I am supposed to exercise daily and the sun is shining brightly, I think I will go for a ride. Wish me luck as I do not see any seatbelts!
As I said last week, what can I say, the devil made me do it! Have a great week.
Until next time!