Second-Guessing vs Grass is Greener on the Other Side

Second guess is defined as to question a decision or action that has already been completed. An example of second guess is when you make a decision and then you start to think about it a little more and decide another decision might have been better. Why do we, as seniors, find it necessary to second-guess ourselves so much in our later years?

Have you ever noticed that as we age, we find it harder and harder to make certain decisions and find ourselves putting things off because of one thing or another? I like to refer to this as second-guessing ourselves.

Are the decisions we make good things or should we be seeking another opinion on? And what if that other opinion differs from the decision we originally came up with?

Many of us, tend to say as we enter our twilight years, that getting old is not for sissies – usually based on problems with our health. Health problems, I can deal with. Usually with health problems the situation is that you either have a problem or you don’t, or you are told that in the near future, things are going to change and here is what you must do to be prepared for them. While we may not like it – hey – at our age, most of us try to roll with the punches and thus do what the doctor says.

Not so with the second-guessing type scenario. There is something you want to do that could possibly make your life better but there is that nagging question in the back of your head, will the change be for the better? We know that at our age nothing is guaranteed. The thought process is that hopefully, your life will change for the better but there is no guarantee hence the second-guessing and wondering if you are or will be doing the right thing.

This overall thought process raises so many questions, the main one being: Do we take the chance knowing that depending on what we eventually end up doing, we will have to live with the consequences as there will be no turning back. Or, do we withdraw into our shell like the turtle and say to ourselves – I know what I have in here – why risk it wondering if the grass will be greener on the other side?

I am sure those of you reading this are aware that “the grass is greener syndrome” means that individuals having this syndrome have an inability to feel content with their life as it is, and relentlessly seek something better.  Having made it to the grand old age of 78 soon to be 79, I feel certain that this dilemma happens just as much during our retirement years as it did during our working years and thus the reason for the article. Chances are that many of us senior citizens have been in this dilemma more times than we care to admit to and in each case, my guess is that there were always a couple of hiccups along the way to make the challenge even more interesting.   

Why the word hiccups – primarily because it is these hiccups that make us question our initial decision (you know the one that put us in this position in the first place, thinking that the grass may be greener on the other side), thus opening the door to second-guessing ourselves.  

So, the question becomes: At what point in one’s lives do we feel content with where we are in life and thus no longer have to second-guess decisions that we may or may not make. Decisions we consider to be relevant to our future well-being?  

Interesting dilemma, isn’t it?

Until next time!

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Donut and Coffee

Thought I would write something different today – so I am going to share a “Drabble” with you entitled: Apple Fritter!

What is it about the day when we wake and know not what it is we hope to accomplish? Is it boredom? Pure laziness? Is this what retirement is all about? Shouldn’t there be something more? How do we overcome these slumps? I know – coffee and a donut! But then there is always the weight issue to be concerned about. But truly one donut and a cup of coffee shouldn’t make all that difference. Besides, my colonoscopy prep is tomorrow. How long will that donut be in me? Perhaps, I should go with an apple fritter instead. Yummy – can’t wait!

coffee and donut

Cooling Thoughts

One Day at a Time!

I have been reading selected readings from the Wit and Wisdom of Laura Ingalls Wilder and thought to myself that the knowledge imparted upon us in these short witticisms would also serve us well into our retirement years.  

“We would be much cooler and less tired if, instead of thinking of the weather and our weariness, we would try to remember the birds’ songs we heard in the early morning or notice the view of the woods and hills or of the valley and stream.”

I know that many of us like to think that we would not want to go back to the days of yesteryear, but after reading a passage like the above and then picturing in our minds the likes of which we see, hear, and read about today, one begins to wonder if the days of old with all the troubles they endured were as bad as some make them out to be.

Has the temperature changed over the years? Probably so. Do we get tired more quickly today than our forefathers might have? Again, probably so. But were we aware of all the problems of the world both here at home and abroad on a 24-hours a day/7days a week/52 weeks of the year basis? I think not. Chances are, that depending on where you were living, by the time you received the news of some disaster or calamity, it had been over and done with and people were getting on with their lives.

So, in reviewing the above writing, I contend that we would be wise to heed the words spoken in this passage by thinking more about the good things in life (birds singing early in the morning) and take notice of all the good things that surround  us (view of the woods and hills or the valley and stream). Chances are that we would no longer feel the unbearable heat from the sun nor notice how tired our bodies are from the work we do. Bottom line is that we would in all probability be thankful that we are alive and able to move about freely taking life one day at a time and enjoying the fact that while we woke up this morning, quite a few people were not as fortunate.

Until next time.

Humor

Be Funny!

“The great virtue of humor is that it is philosophizing in action, a bright silver thread in the great duvet of existence. And one can easily engage in it for an hour or two every day.” –Simon Critchley, On Humour

Someone once said: “You have to laugh at the things that hurt you just to keep yourself in balance, just to keep the world from running you plumb crazy.”

I have learned over the years that it is much easier for me to think of something funny when things do not go exactly as I have planned otherwise I tend to get moody, even disagreeable and all that does is upset others that may be with me.

Think about it – humor can take you away from whatever is bothering you, even if only for an instance, making whatever is bothering us easier to bear. It is like taking a “time out” or a “breather.” What we do during that minibreak from reality is regain our strength enabling us to gather our resources ready to move forward.

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs – jolted by every pebble in the road. – Henry Ward Beecher, American clergyman

If we look at life that we are here to have a good time, then we should be doing exactly that – looking for whatever opportunity we can find to enjoy ourselves, and in the process, instead of becoming angry or upset with others in our company, look upon them as playmates versus the enemy.

This thought process holds true in many a situation. For instance, instead of becoming upset because traffic is held up ahead of you, think of something funny to occupy your time while waiting for traffic to clear. Becoming upset and angry over things out of your control does nobody any good. As a matter of fact, think of how bad you would really feel, if the next morning while having your coffee, you read about the accident that held up traffic on the road you were on yesterday and learned that several people died.

Sort of puts why we shouldn’t be so quick to get upset over things that are out of our control in perspective, doesn’t it?

Let me conclude this piece with the following:

“There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” – Aldous Huxley

Every Day is an Adventure

Be adventurous!

“To me, it is a joy that “no man knoweth what a day may bring forth,” and that life is a journey from one discovery to another. It makes of every day a real adventure; and if things are not to my liking today, why, “There’s a whole day tomorrow that ain’t tetched yet,” as the old man said.”

And yet another of the wit and wisdom sayings of Laura Ingalls Wilder. How true is this statement? Should we wake up to unforeseen problems that we didn’t expect, well, we should just go about attending to them the best we can because no matter how tight we close our eyes, they will still be there when we open them. Best to tackle them now and be away with them because as was just recently mentioned “There’s a whole day tomorrow that ain’t tetched yet!” Chances are that it will be better than today.

Lessons that can be learned from this passage is that not every day is the same and as we all know – in life – there will be ‘ups and downs’ and so, if today is a ‘down’ type day – best we can do is face it, do what we can – and be done with it with the hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

We all have our own demons to deal with every day. It is how we deal with them that will make tomorrow a better day. We can face them and be done with them by day’s end, looking forward to a new start the next day, or we can  fuss and fume about them all day, subsequently carrying over the negative vibes to the next day and spoil whatever might have been waiting for us. There are reasons for the saying: “Tomorrow will be a better day!” I prefer the former of the two actions.

That’s my two cents and I am sticking with it.