Senior Citizens

Senior Citizen

“Inside every old person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened!”

The following is a spoof on being a senior citizen – do not put much stock in it as it was done in jest!


Did you ever wonder what it is senior citizens do all day long? I am sure that many people think that, as senior citizens, all we do is sit in front of our television set, drinking beer or sipping a glass of wine, while munching on a bag of Cheetos, eating Hostess Twinkies and watching re-runs of shows like “Matlock,” “Rockford,” or “Perry Mason.”

I must confess, those are just a few of some of the “oldies but goodies” type shows we love to watch every now and then. But we must not forget shows like “All in The Family,” “The Carol Burnett Show,” “Hee – Haw,” “Laugh-In,” and “MASH”. Now they were classics. And they made you laugh.

We love to laugh because being seniors, one of the things we try to avoid is stress. Everyone knows stress is not good for senior citizens. How do we seniors handle stress in our lives – well for those of us that can still move, we are told to exercise. In our case (my honey and me or is it I), a lot of people think that all we do for exercise is line dancing. Not exactly true. We tried Zumba – too hard on our arms and joints. We joined “Silver Sneakers”.  But that didn’t work out either. Nope! Upon going to the gym, our trainer asked if we were flexible and when we said we couldn’t make it certain days of the week, he tore up our application.

Another fun thing we seniors look forward to is the “Open Enrollment Period – you know, that time between October 15th and December 7th of every year. That is the time frame allowed by good old Uncle Sam for us senior citizens to change medical programs. It is during this seven week period that we look forward to going to the mailbox in our Golf Carts (if we have them) or possibly borrow the wagon from the clubhouse closet so that we can bring home the myriad of mail advertisements sent to us by every Health Insurance Carrier in the USA, informing us why their programs are better than the competition.

It gets to be a game that we like to call: “The Who, What, or Where Game!” It becomes a game of deciding Who we can keep (meaning our doctor) and No, I am not talking about Dr. Stephen Vincent Strange, M.D., known as Doctor Strange the fictional superhero from Marvel Comics.  What we need in the way of coverage and co-payments and whether they provide the prescription drugs (Drugs – give me drugs) we need and at a price we can afford, and no I am not referring to medical marijuana.  Finally, Where, meaning where we are covered and what our boundaries are. (Sorry seniors, coverage does not extend to Bora Bora).

One of the things to keep in mind when choosing our physicians is that most of us want our primary care physician to be one that listens to us and does his or her best to abide by our decision regarding our health. For instance, if my doctor discovers something of a minor concern – chances are, my wish might be to not know about it and as such I might just tell him to refrain from telling me about it. Why would I do that? Well, remember that old saying ‘Out of sight – out of mind!’ – Same philosophy.” If he doesn’t tell me about it, I won’t know about it, and if I don’t know about it, I won’t worry about it. Didn’t you read the third paragraph above – you know – the one about stress and it not being good for us seniors? Duh!

We must be careful in this regard though because he might just take our decision too far. For instance, if he prescribes a medication, indicates that we will need to take it for the rest of our life, and then when you go to pick it up at your local pharmacy and you see it is for 30 days, one pill a day, NO REFILLS……Well, you get the picture.

Being over the age of 75 (does that mean I am a senior-senior citizen) has its advantages at the airports too. No longer do I have to remove my shoes and/or belt when going through the security lines. That is a relief because now I no longer worry that my socks have holes in them and I can wear those wrinkled old pants that are so comfy but need either a belt or suspenders to keep them up. You would be surprised how many women got mooned before I turned 75 every time I went through security due to having to remove my belt!

Let’s face it – being a senior citizen has its perks too!  We get to do many of the things we never had time to do when younger – you know like going to the movies when the kids are in school, going grocery shopping while everyone is at work, taking an afternoon nap should we get drowsy from all the work we don’t do, going to “early bird dinners” to avoid the lines later in the evening, and most of all, getting up and going to bed whenever we feel like it.

Being a senior citizen (or in my case, an old fart) is good. Time for a game of checkers!

Senior playing checkers

Until next time!