Good-Bye 2019

Well, the year 2019 is coming to an end. We’ve had some ups, some downs, and some in-betweens. Was 2019 better than 2018? Will 2020 be better than 2019? Only time will tell.

The true question here is: “Have we learned from our experiences? It was Heraclitus, a Greek Philosopher who once said: “The Only Thing That Is Constant Is Change!” No matter what one wants to change, be it a simple task or habit or an attempt to change the world, to make either of these changes – one has to change himself or herself first.

How many of us, at this time of the year (a few days before New Year’s Day) say:  “I am going to make some New Year’s Resolutions to change certain things I want to change.” I know I am one of them. But over the years I have learned several things, one of which is that, like the kid in the candy store, what I see before me may be bigger than what my stomach could handle – without getting one large bellyache. Same holds true when making New Year’s Resolutions.

We need to start small. Why do I say that? Because, let’s take me for example: I have several things that I would like to change in 2020.

One: I would like to lose weight and get back to what, in my opinion, is a reasonable weight, not that I am obese or anything (I only want to lose 7 pounds).

Two: I would like to spend more time creating and writing pieces for not only what I like to call my Daily Morning Facebook Quips, but actually follow a schedule designed to create and post articles on the following sites:

https://lakelandmusings.wordpress.com/

http://community.retirement-online.com/profile/IrwinLengel

with the occasional article being posted to

Three: I would like to get back to my daily habit of stretching first thing when I wake, walking at least two miles a day, and incorporate some strength-training exercises into my weekly routine.

Four: I would like to write a third e-book but this time give it more time and devotion along with more of me being put into the book than I put into the first two books which were written as more of a spur-of-the-moment challenge than something I personally wanted to do.

Let me just stop myself here and point out an observation which is that: None of these four items seem overly unachievable.

Number one – Seems easy enough – watch what I eat and stay away from the foods I know aren’t good for me.

Number two – Take a look at where my time is being spent at the moment and give something else up that I am doing to provide time to do the creating and writing I want to do.

Number three – Get my lazy butt out of bed, do my stretching exercises, go for that walk and choose a time several days a week to lift those dumbbells to strengthen those muscles that have been neglected over the years.

Number four – Choose a time of the day, preferably every day, or what works with regards other household/social/familial duties and lock myself away and begin writing.

Easy peasy. Right? Not as easy as it appears to be. The older we get, the easier it seems to be to fall out of habits we have been accustomed to doing and harder to get started again doing the things that are (a) good for us and (b) make us enjoy getting up every day.

Which brings me full circle to my opening comments: “The Only Thing That Is Constant Is Change!” but, as was also mentioned – No matter what one wants to change, be it a simple task or habit or an attempt to change the world, to make either of these changes – one has to change himself or herself first.

Looking at the clock on the wall and noting that there are only about 60 hours left in the year 2019, I had best get busy setting up the schedule I intend to follow and see if 2020 will be my year of change. What about you? What changes will you be making?

Instead of my usual closing – Until next time! – let me just say: “Until Next Year!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2020

Poop Talk!

“I didn’t do it!”

As we know, most animals, including our best friend – the dog – are vegetarian. As a result, after they have eaten, their poop forms what are known as fecal balls. I am sure you have watched your pet poop more times than you care to mention and would agree, that many times their poop forms what one might call fecal balls. Think of a Zen garden – you know what I am talking about. These lovable furry creatures of ours poop out these fecal balls that gently cascade out of their butts like they would in a zen pebble garden fountain. I know, this isn’t always the way. There are times that they occasionally get sick, and like us, get diarrhea, etc. which does stain their fur and irritate their butt. True – not fun for either them or us. 

But not all animals are vegetarians, if they aren’t vegetarians, they are considered carnivores. How does this make a difference? Well, let us just say that carnivore poop is many magnitudes grosser than vegetarian poop. Think of your childhood bunnies. Their poop came out like little raisinets and wasn’t that hard to clean up after. But, thinking of your furry tabby cat – well, let’s just say that “tabby” can clear the room just by dropping a single solidary turd. Thinking about carnivores and their diet, they don’t need all the roughage we eat because if you think about it, they get some of their roughage by eating the fur and sinew of its prey not to mention all the fur they ingest with their own grooming habits.

We humans are omnivorous, eating just about whatever is placed in front of us today. Some of us are better about eating roughage, vegetables, etc., than others. But what possibly comes from eating high  protein and high carbohydrates? Quite possibly we will eventually experience what are known as the   Jackson Pollock shits (the phrase refers to the way in which Jackson Pollock painted – just splattering paint everywhere – our letting loose would be like splattering the toilet bowl with poop or diarrhea.

Let’s think about our anatomy for a minute – we are considered bipedal meaning we have well developed gluteal muscles that actually infringe on the anal playing field. I am not a hockey player but let’s just say that it would be like playing field hockey in a back alley. What this means is that you will be able to do it but you are going to hit the walls a lot with the puck. Quadrupeds have a different muscle orientation. Their muscle mass is to the side (versus directly behind). How do we bypass this anatomic hurdle? By doing what is considered to be a deep squat. What this does is bring our gluteals to the lateral thus clearing the airfield ……..Bombs away! Think about it for a moment.

How many of us sit on our toilet looking at our smart phone while laughing at some comedy via Facebook while trying to do our duty. Problem? Yup – our butt cheeks are squeezed together and well – here comes Jackson Pollock again – we end up painting the walls. With the block almost being opened up we find ourselves trying to eject that final turd with magnum cannon force. And we are doing so while reflexively clenching our puckerino. What does that mean? Well, remember when you were a kid and you wanted to spray your sister when she was trying to look cool while sunbathing with her friends? What do you do – you take the garden hose, put your thumb over the head of the hose and spray her! Got the picture?

Moral of the story – eat your veggies so that should you ever get a flair in your derriere you can cop a proper squat and relax the cracks.