Advantages of Being an Old Fart

Today’s comments are going to be a combination of informative, comical, and philosophical data.

Has anyone read about the new “McPick2” menu being offered by McDonald’s early in 2016?

I don’t know how many of you reading this frequent McDonald’s but, suffice it to say, any fast food restaurant offering $1 meals is a welcome sight to those of us that travel for any length of time. Reason being, the cost of food on a trip is one of several things we do have control over.

Let’s face it we senior citizens do like our $1 menus or anything close to it. It would appear that come January 4, 2016, McPick2 will debut. While we do not frequent McDonald’s often (Taco Bell is our favorite fast food restaurant), we do enjoy their fries.

What McDonald’s is doing is an attempt to provide customers with what we as seniors and retirees are constantly looking for and that is “choice and flexibility.”

Being able to choose what we want to do and the flexibility of deciding when and where we want to do it is just one of the things we love about being retired.

So much for the informative part of this month’s article – now let’s move on to the fun part:

Have you ever thought of the advantages of reaching the status known as “Old Fart?” Better yet, that of being known as an “Old Geezer!” I got to thinking about this and the many different things that happen to us as we age and below are but a few of the thoughts that ran through my head.

  • Does the word “Depends” come to mind? What better way to get even with your kids for when you had to change their diapers?
  • Since we are no longer school age, we don’t have to get a bunch of injections for school.
  • So they want to take our driver’s license away – just think of the money you’ll save by not having to pay automobile insurance.
  • Being an old fart means we have no more curfews. You can stay out as long as you want and party way into the night. We may have a hard time getting back home (no longer drive) but who cares?
  • Let’s face it – old farts are way past the stage of getting acne!
  • Don’t like someone – insult them – they will probably look at you and say – what a crotchety old fart – or better yet – they may even think you have Alzheimer’s.
  • No more jury duty!
  • Being the age of old farts – we get to enjoy watching our children and in some instances our grandchildren deal with their rebellious teenagers.
  • Being an old fart we no longer worry about losing sleep or juggling finances – What old geezer sleeps more than four to five hours a night anyway and if we go broke – hey we will just move in with our kids – after all, how many times did we take them back?
  • Speaking of finances – remember when we did our best to save money – why – to leave it to our kids – well no more – the plan should be to spend it now – why –cause we cannot take it with us.

Okay so we spent some time discussing the advantages of being an old fart/geezer – let’s take a moment and look at the other side of the coin. What are some of the things we should refrain from doing now that we maintain the status of old fart/geezer?

  • Saving food that has stuck on our dentures for later.
  • Going to a nudes only beach with friends.
  • Eating two pounds of cheese at one setting.
  • Going hang-gliding without a helmet.
  • Hanging on to a car’s bumper so you can cruise along while in your wheel chair.

These are just a few of the thoughts that ran through my mind while dreaming up what I was going to write about. Hopefully those taking the time to read my ramblings got a chuckle or two just picturing some of the scenes represented by the above statements.

In closing allow me to provide yet another quote and one that I have tried to follow most of my adult life:

“Stay low, stay quiet, keep it simple, don’t expect too much, enjoy what you have.”
Dean Koontz




What do you want to be when you grow up? Well, if you’re not sure you want to do just one thing for the rest of your life, you’re not alone. I recently came across a website of a person who would describe herself as a combination of artist, entrepreneur, writer, speaker, and coach. That person is Emilie Wapnick and she gave a talk on wherein she describes the kind of people she calls “multipotentialites” — who have a range of interests and jobs over one lifetime. Are you one?

Did you ever wonder what you might have been had you not gone into the field you did prior to your retirement? Prior to becoming involved with insurance I had many varied jobs. I started my working career in a bakery and after a short stint in the U.S. Army really bounced around various jobs.

I worked as a stock boy in a grocery store, counter clerk in a meat market, arm installer for a furniture manufacturer, don’t recall what my title was in a resin manufacturing plant as it only lasted three days, and worked as a general laborer in two different yarn and dyeing factories. But all that was before becoming a career insurance person.

When she worked, my mother was a sewing machine operator and my father was, for many years, a full-fashioned knitter (making nylon stockings) before being laid off and secured a job in a yarn and dyeing factory. Neither of them ever suggested to any of us children what field we should follow. As a matter of fact, due to the times, none of us children were ever fortunate enough to attain a college degree, although truth be told, achievement of the various insurance designations I have acquired has been said to be the equivalent of a college degree in insurance.

But that did not discourage any of us from forging on and becoming the best that we could be in whatever field we chose to follow. Two of my brothers became machinists, one became a plumber, one sister worked for a bakery for most of her working career, another sister worked in the financial sector for many years and subsequently started her own pet-sitting business due to her affinity for pets and a third sister worked as office manager.

Fact is that they each followed the path that led them to fulfill whatever goals they had at that particular time in their lives. Each of them are now retired and enjoying their retirement years.

But, speaking for myself, and after hearing this talk given by Emilie Wapnick, even though I am retired, I still find myself asking that age old question: “What do I want to be when I grow up?” Am I a “multipotentialite?” Perhaps!

Why do I think that? Because each day I wake, I think to myself that I do not have to be the same thing I was yesterday. Today is the start of a new day. Every day we wake we have the opportunity to explore new things and new interests. At one time since becoming retired, I considered becoming involved with the *Zentangle Method as a form of relaxation. (*The Zentangle Method is an easy-to-learn, relaxing, and fun way to create beautiful images by drawing structured patterns.)

Other thoughts that have crossed my mind were that of writing a book which I am happy to say is a goal I actually completed with the publication of my Kindle eBook entitled “Love, Marriage, Retirement, and Gratitude).

And then there is the thought of taking up the art of Calligraphy (decorative handwriting or handwritten lettering.) So many thoughts about various things I think I may want to become involved with while still on this earth and in fairly good health.

As much as I enjoy writing the occasional blog and posting to the various sites I blog on, perhaps I should just venture into this uncharted territory…..territory such as the Zentangle Method or perhaps even the art of Calligraphy. Who knows I may be able to quench this desire to be more creative in other ways. After all, once our bodies slow down and we aren’t able to do as much physically, as long as we have kept our minds sharp, we can still continue to be creative in other ways which will also occupy our time. Interesting thought isn’t it!

Perhaps I am a “multipotenialite!”

Until next time!

Crazy wild phrases and things

Being in a fun-filled and less serious mood today, I decided to write various comical entries versus something philosophical or informative. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with philosophical or informative statements/articles. It is just that with all that is going on in the world today, I prefer to both read as well as write about happy or funny stuff. After all, wouldn’t you admit that you feel much better after a hearty laugh versus after hearing depressing news? So, here goes:

Did you ever wonder why there are no handles on Chinese teacups? Well, for those of you that may know of a Chinese philosopher named Confucius – it is said that, Confucius say, “If tea too hot to handle, tea too hot to drink!”

And then there is the true story about a woman who wrote a best-selling auto-biography back in 1973 entitled “Laughing All the Way.” The author’s name was Barbara Howar. Fact is that shortly after writing “Laughing All the Way”, she picked up quite an advance from a publisher for her new novel, “Making Ends Meet”. Talk about the irony of the situation as I am sure that Ms. Howar laughed all the way to the bank on that deal and did in fact, make ends meet!

Did anyone ever research how the word “hooker” came to be a synonym for prostitute? Well here is the scoop – supposedly it came from a Union general, “Fighting Joe” Hooker who, after the Civil War, went to the wilds of Arizona to fight the Apaches. To get his troops to fight the Indians, he recruited a small army of prostitutes. They became known as “Hooker’s girls” – later shortened to just plain “hookers.”

Ever wonder what happened to that little bellhop who became famous paging “Call for Phillip Morris”? Well, as of July of last year, Dale Paullin, age 90, was living in Marshalltown, Iowa and is still known as a life-long learner. To hear all that he has done would tire most people. Suffice it to say that one does not have to be big to be a big person. My hat goes off to Dale Paullin who after being interviewed a year ago ended the conversation by saying: “Weeeee! I’ve had too much fun.”

Here is one for everyone to think about: Ever wonder where Ian Fleming conceived the character of “James Bond”? In reality, James Bond, the energetic and ever alert fictional spy, was “born” on Ian Fleming’s estate at Oracabessa (Golden Eye was the name given to the estate by Ian Fleming) on Jamaica’s north coast where the author wrote all of his “007” escapades.

Okay, one more piece of information that those of you as old as I am or perhaps even older may remember: How many of you out there can remember the greats that had monikers/nicknames most of us came to know them as? Monikers such as: “Marlegs,” “The Voice,” “The Velvet Frog,” “The Pelvis,” “The Galloping Ghost,” “Bojangles,” and “The Mouth”? Mentioning them from left to right we have: Marlene Dietrich, Frank Sinatra, Mel Torme, Elvis Presley, football great Red Grange, and Bill Robinson. Martha Raye and Joe E. Brown shared the affectionate billing “The Mouth.”

Here is a piece of information I never knew until I did the research on it. Remember the sayings: “Get a Bad Break” and “Behind the Eight Ball.” For those of you that know your pool history – you are correct – we get both these expressions from the game of pool. We all were probably taught at some point in our lives that misfortune is synonymous with “getting a bad break,” while being put in an uncomfortable position means being “behind the eight ball.”

Let’s break this explanation down a bit further – picture yourself about to begin a game of pool. To begin, the balls are arranged in the form of a triangle at one end of the table. At the other end is what is known as the cue ball. The opening shot is known as the break shot and is sent towards the triangle of balls. If the break shot puts the pocket balls in positions where they can be pocketed easily by the next player, it is called – you guessed it – “a bad break.”

Stay with me here –in a common variation of pool, the balls are numbered and must be pocketed in numerical order, with the exception of the eight ball which must be pocketed last. If it is sunken prematurely, the player is penalized. That is why it’s bad luck to be “behind the eight ball”; it obstructs a player’s progress in pocketing the other balls in rotation.

Hope everyone enjoyed this particular article as we sort of reminisced a bit and learned about various idioms (short, colorful phrases that convey powerful meanings) even though I would venture to say that many of us using them do not even realize that they don’t make any sense if taken literally.

Until next time!