Advantages of Being an Old Fart

Today’s comments are going to be a combination of informative, comical, and philosophical data.

Has anyone read about the new “McPick2” menu being offered by McDonald’s early in 2016?

I don’t know how many of you reading this frequent McDonald’s but, suffice it to say, any fast food restaurant offering $1 meals is a welcome sight to those of us that travel for any length of time. Reason being, the cost of food on a trip is one of several things we do have control over.

Let’s face it we senior citizens do like our $1 menus or anything close to it. It would appear that come January 4, 2016, McPick2 will debut. While we do not frequent McDonald’s often (Taco Bell is our favorite fast food restaurant), we do enjoy their fries.

What McDonald’s is doing is an attempt to provide customers with what we as seniors and retirees are constantly looking for and that is “choice and flexibility.”

Being able to choose what we want to do and the flexibility of deciding when and where we want to do it is just one of the things we love about being retired.

So much for the informative part of this month’s article – now let’s move on to the fun part:

Have you ever thought of the advantages of reaching the status known as “Old Fart?” Better yet, that of being known as an “Old Geezer!” I got to thinking about this and the many different things that happen to us as we age and below are but a few of the thoughts that ran through my head.

  • Does the word “Depends” come to mind? What better way to get even with your kids for when you had to change their diapers?
  • Since we are no longer school age, we don’t have to get a bunch of injections for school.
  • So they want to take our driver’s license away – just think of the money you’ll save by not having to pay automobile insurance.
  • Being an old fart means we have no more curfews. You can stay out as long as you want and party way into the night. We may have a hard time getting back home (no longer drive) but who cares?
  • Let’s face it – old farts are way past the stage of getting acne!
  • Don’t like someone – insult them – they will probably look at you and say – what a crotchety old fart – or better yet – they may even think you have Alzheimer’s.
  • No more jury duty!
  • Being the age of old farts – we get to enjoy watching our children and in some instances our grandchildren deal with their rebellious teenagers.
  • Being an old fart we no longer worry about losing sleep or juggling finances – What old geezer sleeps more than four to five hours a night anyway and if we go broke – hey we will just move in with our kids – after all, how many times did we take them back?
  • Speaking of finances – remember when we did our best to save money – why – to leave it to our kids – well no more – the plan should be to spend it now – why –cause we cannot take it with us.

Okay so we spent some time discussing the advantages of being an old fart/geezer – let’s take a moment and look at the other side of the coin. What are some of the things we should refrain from doing now that we maintain the status of old fart/geezer?

  • Saving food that has stuck on our dentures for later.
  • Going to a nudes only beach with friends.
  • Eating two pounds of cheese at one setting.
  • Going hang-gliding without a helmet.
  • Hanging on to a car’s bumper so you can cruise along while in your wheel chair.

These are just a few of the thoughts that ran through my mind while dreaming up what I was going to write about. Hopefully those taking the time to read my ramblings got a chuckle or two just picturing some of the scenes represented by the above statements.

In closing allow me to provide yet another quote and one that I have tried to follow most of my adult life:

“Stay low, stay quiet, keep it simple, don’t expect too much, enjoy what you have.”
Dean Koontz

 

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About iglengel

Welcome to my blog: I retired in September of 1996 after twenty-five years as an Underwriting Manager (and one year with a smaller insurance company) and have written blog postings on the website Retirement-online.com prior to setting up this Word Press free site. Having retired almost twenty years ago I have experienced my own retirement transition. I survived and you will too. Oddly enough, now that I have more time, I am discovering various things about myself that I would not have imagined myself doing in retirement. Why does it take so long for, we as individuals, to stop and think about ME!? Join me as I share with you some of the shenanigans we have been up to since retiring. Retirement is and can be a whole lot of fun. Welcome to my site – remember – retirement is not the destination we are seeking – it is the journey! I encourage you to visit often, provide comments, ask questions and add your own insights. We are all on this journey together.
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