In my quest to meet the recent challenges I set for myself with regards my writing, I decided to define what an old geezer – or in my case – an old fart is.
First off – Your Dictionary.com defines the term “old geezer” as follows:
Old geezer is a somewhat insulting term for an older person, especially one who is no longer cool, hip, or with the times. An example of an old geezer is a grumpy old man who sits on his porch all day yelling at neighborhood kids.
Now the definition of an “old fart” is: An elderly person who holds old-fashioned views.
Now that I have provided dictionary definitions, let’s look at this from a different point of view. Seeing that I have expressed myself on my blog as an old fart ranting and raving, let us take a moment and see what the word fart means:
Looking at the noun: A fart is a flatus expelled through the anus or could be defined as an irritating or foolish person.
As a verb: A fart means to expel a flatus through the anus; break wind.
As a synonym: Cut one, cut the cheese, fart, let her rip, rip one, pass gas, or toot!
Are you with me so far? Seeing that I define myself as an “old fart that rants and raves,” and being that I am not only past the age of 70, but closer to 80 than 70, let’s have some fun with what it means to be an “old fart.”
And with that I will “let her rip!”
Below is a partial list that, in my humble opinion, represents why I fall on the list of being an “old fart”:
(1) I make more noise getting out of bed in the morning than I did twenty-five years ago during a heated night of passion.
(2) As an ‘old fart’ I prefer to eat dinner at a restaurant that provides quiet ambiance than today’s typical Sports Bar atmosphere.
(3) I no longer consider fiber to be or represent a thread or filament from which a textile is formed. Fiber represents a whole new meaning in my life.
(4) Years ago my knees cracked when I used to walk up and down stairs. Now they creak when I walk period.
(5) It used to be that I could get out of a chair and make a mad dash for whatever I was going for be it a snack or a bathroom break. Now, just standing up is a challenge and after having done that, next thing to do is have my brain send a message to my feet and legs that says “OK old person – you are up – now you also got to move!”
(6) While I was never into going to bars much when I was younger, going to wineries today is now a favorite past-time.
(7) When younger – one went to hospitals for operations – nowadays they are called procedures.
I could go on and on (you know me – I like to rant and rave) but instead allow me to end this with a quote from Pablo Picasso:
“It takes a long time to become young!”