What is Newsworthy?

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Ever wonder where news comes from today, who thinks it is newsworthy, and most of all, that it is something we are even interested in?

Seeing that I want to rant and rave a bit today, I decided to do a comparison of some ridiculous news as compared to news some would think is newsworthy and that which we should be reading and digesting.

What follows are headlines being presented as events or happenings our news media thinks we should be interested in:

“What to expect from Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s royal wedding.”

“Tracking who is spending money at President Trump’s D.C. hotel.

“23 breath-taking UNESCO World Heritage destinations in the United States.

Cuba was counting on Americans to visit. Then tourism dried up.

Now we come to articles provided as news that – well – who cares, but you be the judge:

“Loose monkey found climbing outside London apartment building.”

“Man wins $4.38 million with lottery ticket he got for free.”

“Moose blocks entrance to Alaska senior center.”

“Zoo charged for taking bear out for ice cream.”

It may just be me, but personally, other than being somewhat curious about the latter, somewhat ridiculous articles, none of these articles strike me as something I would want to waste my time reading. And people actually get paid to report these events as newsworthy events?

Other than posting these headlines as the rants and raves or ponderings of an old and getting older by the minute ‘geezer’ I cannot think of what they are good for. Can you?

Until next time!

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Words

Have you ever looked at a list of words and wondered – gee – what kind of weird yet funny story could I concoct with them. Something dumb and foolish if for no other reason than to create something funny – something worth while reading because it makes me laugh versus some of the crazy nonsense we are subjected to every day of the year.

For instance, just look at the following so-called headlines that we are subjected to:

Report: NFL owners didn’t vote on anthem rule

US cities where you may live next to a millionaire

‘Bachelorette’ Becca Kufrin fell in love with 2 men

Shailene Woodley and boyfriend make red carpet debut

The nation’s hottest job markets are in this state

To be frank with you, none of these so-called headlines interest me in the least because:

  • I do not watch sports
  • Why would I even want to live next to a millionaire
  • Who is Becca Kufrin
  • So what is the big deal – who is she anyway
  • What about the jobs in the state where I live

Getting back to the beginning of this post, allow me to share with you some of the words I feel would be funny if inserted in a news article that we would see in our local newspaper.

Words LM Post

Most of us when being asked to remind someone to do something at a specific point in time think of things like: Don’t forget to take your medicine at 3 o’clock pm or do not forget to mark your calendar that we are going to the movies at 7 pm Friday night.

But then there are some individuals that have a different idea of what the word remind means or how it is used. I am referring to the famous author Mary Shelley and her masterpiece “Frankenstein.” In her case, the word remind meant the brain transplant for her monster.

And then there are oxymorons – you know a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction. But, is that statement true – is it a figure of speech or could it be that an oxymoron merely means as dumb as an ox. Think about that for a moment.

Depending on what part of the country you are visiting, another word might have two different meanings. Most of us think of the word rectum as making reference to a part of the human anatomy. But then, depending on where you are at and the matter being discussed, that word might be used in a completely different context. For example, if you found yourself in the hills of West Virginia in a conversation about some guy that was just in a bad automobile accident, you might just hear a conversation that goes like this:

Billy Bob: I hear that old Jasper was in a bad auto accident that almost rectum.

Bobby Joe: What do you mean rectum? That accident darn near killed him!

Most of us know that the word polite refers to having or showing behavior that is respectful and considerate of other people. Notice that I said most of us. My educated guess is that those same people not knowing the definition of rectum would merely be thinking that the word polite is nothing other than making reference to a lamp on a pole.

Shucks, these same people would not know that a sonogram is a graph representing a sound, showing the distribution of energy of different frequencies. Chances are, if used in a sentence around them – one of them would surely announce something like: “Oh, you got a sonogram (telegram) from your son, too!

That’s it……that’s all I got – just trying to get back in the swing of things by writing something wild and crazy once a week. Time to start my research for next week’s little piece of craziness.

Y’all be good and take care. Until next time!

Old/Ancient

Here are a few of the ways you might want to try so that you do not feel your age or so that others might not refer to you as old/ancient:

Keep in mind the fact that it is 2018, not 1967

Give a kind thought to that little tummy of yours that wasn’t there 10 or 20 years ago. If no one else likes it and you are a pet lover, you can be sure your dog or cat will love to cuddle with you and snuggle right in

Stop shopping at stores like Old Navy

Stop holding your waist in when in the company of those younger than you – all you do is limit the oxygen going to your brain – which might also be the reason why you are starting to forget stuff.

Remember what you were taught in the Army – Never Volunteer – I know it is hard because: (a) you are over 65, (b) you are both a grand-father and a great – grandfather, (c) you are retired, (d) and you are so used to saying “Yes, dear, of course you know I will do it”, whenever you are asked to do anything.

Admit you don’t like wearing shoes with shoelaces and prefer clogs, flip-flops, or anything you can just slip your feet into so you do not have to bend over.

You don’t have to be a fan of “Demi Lovato” or “Miley Cyrus” – saying so just makes you look like a “creepy old man!”

When out with friends, stop whining about every ache and pain you have – most of your friends have the same aches and pains and know how you feel. Besides, at your age, whatever it is will go away after a few days and be replaced by a different set of pains for you to complain about.

Go to Walgreens and buy an expensive pair of reading glasses. The expensive part will give you incentive not to lose them like you have been doing for years now.

When out with friends, quit referring to yourself as a relic from times gone by – especially when you kid about when dinosaurs roamed the earth. Fact is that not everyone is up to date with science today and you will just confuse them more.

When you cannot remember something, do not claim that you are going through early onset of Alzheimer’s. Continuing to do so will enable the dementia fairy to find you no matter where you go.

Well, that is all I got this afternoon. Wanted to get back in the groove of writing and thought this might be a good way to start. Hope you enjoyed my rambling on about the words old/ancient.

Now let’s see, where did I set my cup of coffee? Uh Oh, brain fart – what was I thinking – it is time for my glass of wine – “Ah, there it is!”

senior-with-redwine

By the way, that is not me in the picture – I found it on “Free Images.com

Until next time!