Have you ever looked at a list of words and wondered – gee – what kind of weird yet funny story could I concoct with them. Something dumb and foolish if for no other reason than to create something funny – something worth while reading because it makes me laugh versus some of the crazy nonsense we are subjected to every day of the year.
For instance, just look at the following so-called headlines that we are subjected to:
Report: NFL owners didn’t vote on anthem rule
US cities where you may live next to a millionaire
‘Bachelorette’ Becca Kufrin fell in love with 2 men
Shailene Woodley and boyfriend make red carpet debut
The nation’s hottest job markets are in this state
To be frank with you, none of these so-called headlines interest me in the least because:
- I do not watch sports
- Why would I even want to live next to a millionaire
- Who is Becca Kufrin
- So what is the big deal – who is she anyway
- What about the jobs in the state where I live
Getting back to the beginning of this post, allow me to share with you some of the words I feel would be funny if inserted in a news article that we would see in our local newspaper.
Most of us when being asked to remind someone to do something at a specific point in time think of things like: Don’t forget to take your medicine at 3 o’clock pm or do not forget to mark your calendar that we are going to the movies at 7 pm Friday night.
But then there are some individuals that have a different idea of what the word remind means or how it is used. I am referring to the famous author Mary Shelley and her masterpiece “Frankenstein.” In her case, the word remind meant the brain transplant for her monster.
And then there are oxymorons – you know a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction. But, is that statement true – is it a figure of speech or could it be that an oxymoron merely means as dumb as an ox. Think about that for a moment.
Depending on what part of the country you are visiting, another word might have two different meanings. Most of us think of the word rectum as making reference to a part of the human anatomy. But then, depending on where you are at and the matter being discussed, that word might be used in a completely different context. For example, if you found yourself in the hills of West Virginia in a conversation about some guy that was just in a bad automobile accident, you might just hear a conversation that goes like this:
Billy Bob: I hear that old Jasper was in a bad auto accident that almost rectum.
Bobby Joe: What do you mean rectum? That accident darn near killed him!
Most of us know that the word polite refers to having or showing behavior that is respectful and considerate of other people. Notice that I said most of us. My educated guess is that those same people not knowing the definition of rectum would merely be thinking that the word polite is nothing other than making reference to a lamp on a pole.
Shucks, these same people would not know that a sonogram is a graph representing a sound, showing the distribution of energy of different frequencies. Chances are, if used in a sentence around them – one of them would surely announce something like: “Oh, you got a sonogram (telegram) from your son, too!
That’s it……that’s all I got – just trying to get back in the swing of things by writing something wild and crazy once a week. Time to start my research for next week’s little piece of craziness.
Y’all be good and take care. Until next time!