Can’t Do With – Can’t Do Without!

Are computers a curse or a blessing?

Let me clear up a few things before I even attempt to write this article.

First off – I am not a stupid person. Now I know that I have been known to do stupid things in the past and some might say I do stupid things on a fairly regular basis, but – truth-be-told, I’m not what some would call dumb. While I do not have a college degree, I do hold several prestigious insurance designations, one of which a former professor considered the equivalent of a “Masters Degree in Insurance”.

Second – Technology is not in any shape or form my friend.

Third – Other people should be banned from ever touching my computer.

Remember that old saying: “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” – guess what – they are probably right. Perhaps it is a sign that I am getting old or maybe these old grey cells just aren’t interested in learning new things. How do I know this? What other explanation could you come up with to explain that whenever I decide to sit down at my computer, were there a mirror in front of me in addition to the computer, I would watch myself transform from a quiet soft-spoken, and kind gentleman into a complete idiot that would be better off far away from the computer. You know a place like a comfortable rocking chair with a nice soft chew toy to keep me occupied.

Do I blame the computer for my failings when it comes to understand both the machine and the lingo it spits out at me? No, especially since it is a new computer I only have about six months and I am trying desperately to be its friend. They told me at the store that it should make my life easier and less complicated.  Notice I said should make my life easier. After all, isn’t that the theory behind computers – machines are to make our lives easier. If that is true though, why did the programmers insert so many fancy things into the computer that do their best to overwhelm the average user (in case you haven’t figured it out – I am that average user)?

Our children do their best to assist us when asked over to help us clear up the problem we may have created but then depending on the relationship, they also have to shake their head at us and say: “What did I tell you about clicking on this site or that site – you have no idea what may be on those sites!”

How was I supposed to know that by clicking on the site that talks about Starsky and Hutch (I was curious to know how old David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser actually were), I quite possibly clicked on what is known as a click-bait article – whatever that is. And to add insult to injury – it was mentioned that I needed to clear my browsing history. How am I going to browse if I delete the history?

The reason this subject was even brought up was because it was evident that my entire browsing history had been laid bare and there were questions about why I was looking this site and that site. Oops! It finally dawned on me what was being said here and I don’t think my response about “doing research for my next book” was very credible.

“So your next book is about sexy nurses?”

“It’s about the various stages of retirement and old age”

“Dad.”

What can I say – look at it this way – if it turns out real good, hopefully my book sales will earn enough of a profit that you won’t have to worry about the cost of all the therapy you may need once the book is published.

I mean – we try to watch as they go through the motions of making this change and that change but their fingers move so fast across the keyboard, these old eyes just aren’t fast enough to catch what they are doing. And when they are ready to leave, they tell you all is now well with your computer, but it’s not true. You find out that the computer seems to be more complicated than what it was before they even turned it on.

I have both a smart phone as well as a tablet, but as many of us older folk are at this stage in our lives – I don’t know how to do much with either one (I get the basics and maybe one or two other items but that’s it). I text people, post quips on Facebook, and check my email (I now have to check two locations versus one due to requesting assistance in this area). Oh, and I am typing this article using my laptop computer. Enough of my ranting and raving or as some might say “pondering!”

It is time to bring this article to a close and in closing let me just say that: “A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history—with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.”

Until next time!

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Grain of Salt

Good afternoon my fellow bloggers:

Seeing that I am sitting here in front of my computer trying my darnedest to be intelligent when I share whatever information I intend to blog about with you, I got to thinking – why worry about it – remember the sign you have hanging above your desk that reads:

Life is Better When You’re Writing.

Besides, those of you that do on occasion follow my rants and raves should know by now that with me, anything is possible. Some days it will be a joke – sometimes it will be a quote – and sometime it will be – well – just some useless jibberish or what I like to refer to as useless information. Guess what you are in store for today?

Remember when someone says something and we don’t quite believe him or her and we hear the phrase – “take it with a grain of salt.”

Know where that came from? In ancient times, a ruler by the name of Pompey, yup – the Roman general and politician who was defeated by Caesar and murdered in Egypt – as did many an ancient ruler – thought it was wise to put a real grain of salt into every drink offered him, as an antidote to any poison that might have been put into it by a spy planted into his domestic services by his foes. It was from his use of salt as an antidote that we obtained our figurative expression.

Okay, I know you are dying to know why Pompey thought salt was the antidote for any poison. Well back in those days, salt was desired as much as gold was and thought to be a panacea.

And therein lies your history lesson for the day! Truth or fiction? Take it with a grain of salt!

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Spilled salt!

Until next time.  Have a great day.