Let me clear up a few things before I even attempt to write this article.
First off – I am not a stupid person. Now I know that I have been known to do stupid things in the past and some might say I do stupid things on a fairly regular basis, but – truth-be-told, I’m not what some would call dumb. While I do not have a college degree, I do hold several prestigious insurance designations, one of which a former professor considered the equivalent of a “Masters Degree in Insurance”.
Second – Technology is not in any shape or form my friend.
Third – Other people should be banned from ever touching my computer.
Remember that old saying: “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” – guess what – they are probably right. Perhaps it is a sign that I am getting old or maybe these old grey cells just aren’t interested in learning new things. How do I know this? What other explanation could you come up with to explain that whenever I decide to sit down at my computer, were there a mirror in front of me in addition to the computer, I would watch myself transform from a quiet soft-spoken, and kind gentleman into a complete idiot that would be better off far away from the computer. You know a place like a comfortable rocking chair with a nice soft chew toy to keep me occupied.
Do I blame the computer for my failings when it comes to understand both the machine and the lingo it spits out at me? No, especially since it is a new computer I only have about six months and I am trying desperately to be its friend. They told me at the store that it should make my life easier and less complicated. Notice I said should make my life easier. After all, isn’t that the theory behind computers – machines are to make our lives easier. If that is true though, why did the programmers insert so many fancy things into the computer that do their best to overwhelm the average user (in case you haven’t figured it out – I am that average user)?
Our children do their best to assist us when asked over to help us clear up the problem we may have created but then depending on the relationship, they also have to shake their head at us and say: “What did I tell you about clicking on this site or that site – you have no idea what may be on those sites!”
How was I supposed to know that by clicking on the site that talks about Starsky and Hutch (I was curious to know how old David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser actually were), I quite possibly clicked on what is known as a click-bait article – whatever that is. And to add insult to injury – it was mentioned that I needed to clear my browsing history. How am I going to browse if I delete the history?
The reason this subject was even brought up was because it was evident that my entire browsing history had been laid bare and there were questions about why I was looking this site and that site. Oops! It finally dawned on me what was being said here and I don’t think my response about “doing research for my next book” was very credible.
“So your next book is about sexy nurses?”
“It’s about the various stages of retirement and old age”
What can I say – look at it this way – if it turns out real good, hopefully my book sales will earn enough of a profit that you won’t have to worry about the cost of all the therapy you may need once the book is published.
I mean – we try to watch as they go through the motions of making this change and that change but their fingers move so fast across the keyboard, these old eyes just aren’t fast enough to catch what they are doing. And when they are ready to leave, they tell you all is now well with your computer, but it’s not true. You find out that the computer seems to be more complicated than what it was before they even turned it on.
I have both a smart phone as well as a tablet, but as many of us older folk are at this stage in our lives – I don’t know how to do much with either one (I get the basics and maybe one or two other items but that’s it). I text people, post quips on Facebook, and check my email (I now have to check two locations versus one due to requesting assistance in this area). Oh, and I am typing this article using my laptop computer. Enough of my ranting and raving or as some might say “pondering!”
It is time to bring this article to a close and in closing let me just say that: “A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history—with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.”
Until next time!