Did you ever stop and think, now that we are old and in the retirement scene, how many kinds of old people there are in the world?

Crazy rich people, rich people, middle class old people, and then we cannot forget the old farts like me and you. As I see it though, the main problem in not having any money, is that not too many people take us seriously.

Think about it – due to not having much money – we must do our own laundry, drive our own car, clean our own house, mow our own lawns. We are not part of that class that can send their laundry to a Chinese Laundry; expect the chauffer to be available at a moment’s notice; expect the maid to pick up after us and keep our house clean; nor show our pride in our garden and landscaping due in fact to having a gardener that keeps everything trimmed and neat.

As a result, since we do not have much money, it falls on us to do our own laundry (hopefully we are fortunate enough to have a washer and dryer within our house), drive ourselves to the grocery store, doctor’s appointments and even to the garage to have it serviced – plus there is also the washing and cleaning of the car we must attend to ourselves as well. Not having a maid to pick up after us, we must clean the house on a regular basis – you do the toilets – no, you do the toilets – and the list goes on and on.  And then there is the mowing of the lawn, trimming the bushes and so forth – yuk – I think I will pull up the grass and put in stones.

How do we avoid this – after all, we are retired now and expect to live the Life of Riley (meaning an easy and pleasant life). I am sure that many of you old-timers out there remember William Bendix and how he portrayed the role of Riley. Who can forget his famous catch line “What a revoltin’ development this is!”

After all, there are hundreds of thousands of younger people that will be coming after us and they have but one goal in mind – it is their duty to follow in our footsteps. The way they intend to do that is by getting older themselves – it is what they live for.

But being the generation that they are, one has to ask how are they going to do this?  I for one, feel that we should treat our younger generation as interns – you know similar to those working for our politicians. Do you think for one moment that politicians pay their interns? Nay – interns may work for free but they are not stupid! Their payment lies in the connections they make while interning.

What does this mean – well, we old farts have to be well connected and by being well connected, we become “intern magnets.”   In this position we can get all the free 0ld-person-in-training interns we want. After all, isn’t that what the younger generation wants – to be like us during our retirement years.  We can teach them how to do their laundry, go grocery shopping, plan doctor’s appointments, maintain the car, and yes, even how to clean the house – toilets and all.

All the above sounds good doesn’t it? I thought so too, until that is, I remembered the type of connections interns and politicians have in common – “those with money.”  Uh, oh! I bad! If you are like me, your connections are likely the same as mine – those that do not have two plug nickels to rub together. Thinking this way will find us paying for our interns and that is going on a huge assumption that we might even find one willing to work for less than Minimum Wage. Nope – that is not our end goal.     

Back to the drawing board – being a not so well-connected old fart might just merely mean that we will have to think up some hair-brained idea to raise some money for old farts like me. In the meantime, I guess I will continue cutting coupons and taking advantage of all the BOGO sales I can find. I may be getting old, but I am not stupid!

Until next time! 


5 thoughts on “Now How Much Will This Cost Me?

  1. Ha ha ha! That was brilliant. I think the one thing that we have going for us is that we know the value of joy and can live in our own skins. The younger generations spend so much time trying to get ahead but they miss the point of now. I hope they learn how to be as comfortable as we are, even if we don’t have any money.

  2. Living as I do in India with a different social set up where children still support their parents in the latters’ old age, I do not have the same anxieties that you do over there. We are strictly middle class but, in India, we can afford servants and so the chores that trouble Western seniors do not trouble either our seniors or the young. I suppose that I am just lucky being in the right country at the right time with the right offspring.

  3. Hey Irwin! When I was a kid back in the 60’s and 70’s, dad would make me cut the neighbors lawn (Senior couple) and shovel their walkway after snow storms. Mom would send my younger sister over to run store errands for them and we were never allowed to take money in return. Back then, neighbors always helped neighbors, especially if they were needy seniors. Money is a concern today but would be less an issue if this courtesy still remained towards our elderly neighbors today.

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