This week’s post is something different – it is a short story I wrote just to wile away the time and do something wild and crazy.

I was just sitting there, staring out of the window enjoying watching the squirrel do his best to get up the bird feeder. Surely his intentions were not honorable. Why does he do that, I wondered! Isn’t there enough seed on the ground from the droppings created by the blue jays, gold finches, and other bird species native to the area as their beaks throw seeds they cannot open or possibly do not like to the ground.

As I watched the squirrel almost reach the top only to slide back down the pole, I caught a brief glance of what appeared to be someone dressed in white heading for my front door. And what’s that they are carrying? Is it a jacket of sorts?

Could my eyes be deceiving me? Did she finally call them? I know I am prone to say and do wild and crazy things but really, “Was she that anxious to be rid of me?”  I mean who hasn’t gone into a supermarket and taken someone else’s shopping cart while they are deciding which can of Campbell’s Soup they want?

And what is wrong with telling the user of the cart, when told to get my own cart because they have already been up and down all the aisles gathering this stuff: “What’s the problem, you already know where everything is so it shouldn’t be hard to retrace your steps.”

Besides, just think, when I get the stuff home, it will be a real treat because looking in the cart, I noticed that there were many different types of food there. Types of food I never have eaten before.

Problem is I don’t think describing this scenario to the administrator of the institution when they get me there will be enough to make them believe that I am not crazy. And I’m sure they won’t just take my word for it when I just come right out and say: “I’m not crazy!”

Maybe I should not have used two packets of sweetener or I should have had plain black coffee, no sugar, sweetener, or cream. So many things running through my mind. Perhaps I should have built a feeder for the squirrel too. Hmmm, could it be that the squirrel turned me in?

What’s that noise I hear? Is that an alarm clock ringing? Why am I wrapped up in all this white stuff? Is that a picture hanging on the wall with a birdhouse, a squirrel on the pole while various birds are feeding?

Wait, it’s coming back to me. Now I remember. That was some wild and crazy birthday party I was at last night. I do remember someone undoing a funny looking jacket that had belts or straps so that I might be able to drink my morning coffee! What day is this? Is it daytime? I’m not crazy… or am I?

10 thoughts on “Prove you’re not crazy.

  1. Very amusing, Irwin. I have some crazy squirrels in my back yard. You should see the stunts they perform around the bird feeder. And I love the bit about taking someone else’s cart in the grocery store. Though I suspect if you attempted that today they would call the cops. Even so, the content of those carts intrigues me. Hey and I prefer my coffee black. Does this make me crazy? Love it, Irwin.

  2. That’s why I’m always nice to the squirrels in my area. Their tiny beady eyes make me nervous — You never can tell what their thinking. Best be on their good side I think Irwin, maybe go offer them some nuts.
    Oops sorry — didn’t mean to bring up the word —”NUTS!” 😁

  3. I am sorry to have come to the party late. Have been busy catching with a great deal of reading now that I am able to.

    It would help readers like me if you could add a plugin to advice subscribers to be notified of new posts as they are published. WordPress has a free plugin for this application.

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