I don’t know about the rest of you, but I am finally willing to admit that, while not often, but definitely in certain instances, men and women act differently. Let’s face it guys, when was the last time you were out in mixed company and said to your neighbor – “Hey Fred, care to go to the bathroom with me?” Such a comment would not be made unless the individual asking the question was three sheets to the wind and has no problem getting a fat lip for his ignorance.

Of course, far be it for me to admit that I know the opposite sex. My wife and I are married fifty-four plus years and at times she still baffles me. What is it with women and yard sales? Don’t they know that the stuff other people are willing to part with for fifty cents is the same stuff we have sitting around our house, except in our house we call them souvenirs – (although I have been known to call some of it “junk” much to the dismay of my wife).  I am definitely not one that believes another man’s trash is going to become my treasure!

But, to each their own – for instance – I have a son and daughter-in-law that live for garage sales, and when visiting we make it a point to go with them on Saturdays making a day of it (Look out Dunkin Donuts – here we come!) And I must admit that on occasion while in their company foraging through other people’s stuff, I actually have found some items of value to me (usually in the form of a book or journal of some sort).


Another reason why I would be the first one to admit that I do not know women – has to do with timeliness. Is it my imagination or is every woman always late getting ready to go someplace? Take me for instance, I love to go for a morning walk basically six days a week (I mean let’s face it – even God rested on Sundays), so I prepare and lay everything out the night before and as a result am ready to hit the door running (or I should say walking – I no longer run anyplace at my age) at about 5:45 AM. Why? Because I know that my morning walk will take me approximately 45 minutes, allowing me just enough time to have breakfast, grab a fast shower upon my return, still allowing me time to dress and be ready to walk out the door at 7:35 AM Monday through Friday.

Why such an early hour say those of you that prefer to sleep late most days now that you are retired? It just so happens that we teach a line dance class from 7:45 AM until 8:30 AM five days a week. More times than not, she runs at least five to ten minutes behind making our trip to the clubhouse which is just five minutes away – a marathon we are trying to win. But, truth be told – we usually get there as the others are arriving and so we aren’t truly late to the party. But, on the other hand, let the occasion be our going to the theater to hear someone sing or perform or perhaps make a trip to visit our daughter and she will be the first one out the door saying to me, “ Hurry up we don’t want to be late!” Priorities – we guys have our priorities!

Here is another example. We have this weekly event that we go to every Saturday morning – coffee and donuts at the clubhouse. The guys sit together at a couple of tables and the women sit together at a separate group of tables. That way they can gossip about female things while we guys talk about the important things happening in the world today – you know sports, vehicles, past job escapades and the like.

But the one question that tends to rise almost every Saturday morning is: What are you going to do when you leave here this morning?” Before I answer that allow me to explain a bit about where we live. Living where we do, we are about a thirty minute car ride to a casino. Did you ever give thought to how many senior citizens love to gamble? Living in the community we do, we have several couples that definitely look forward to going to the casino after coffee on a Saturday morning. While one particular couple actually goes to “yard or garage sales” most Saturday mornings, I would venture to say many of them prefer to go to the Casino after Saturday morning coffee.

In some instances, once there, they spend the balance of their Saturday feeding the “one-arm bandits” as we affectionately called them back in the day.  One thing I have learned from listening to the stories shared over coffee on these Saturday mornings is just this – in many instances, it is the women that win on the days they go to the casino. Now why is that?


See, I told you I don’t know much about women!


17 thoughts on “Women!

  1. If it is any constellation … I mean, consolation and if I may add to your confusion…. I am of the female gender and I gotta agree with you, men and women do act differently. And for a good reason…. I am sure there is a good reason and perhaps more than one.
    But, what the heck is UP with that bathroom escapade? I do not get it ! And, I shock them all when I decline an invite to the bathroom. They just stand there staring at me, not sure what to do or say next. I would rather go outside to visit, thank you.
    Fun post, again…. don’t try too hard to figure out women, you apparently are doing something right to be nearly 55 years of weddedness. Congrats! She has herself a keeper.

    1. Thanks Ren, just my wild and crazy ramblings. Anything to bring a smile to someone’s face at hopefully a time they needed one. Thanks again for following my antics.

  2. That was definitely a delightful look into a moment in time. I’m one of the “others”. I HATE with a capital H being late. I’m the first out the door, and arrive 10 mins early for anything, simply because I HATE being LATE. lol. I know that makes me an oddball, but meh it is what it is. I figure if you can be late, you can be early! Anyway, I enjoyed the blog. Delighted in it actually. 🙂

  3. So Irwin, as a woman… I take this in the joking manner it is intended.

    But , sorry i can’t help disagree.. i can’t stand being late or not on time.. I like a clutter free house.. so we women arent all the same 😉 lol

    Great post and funny as always.

    1. I truly appreciate your taking this in jest which is what my intentions are – write about things in jest for no other reason than to get a smile, a chuckle, and taken in the joking manner in which it is presented. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  4. We women are winner, Irwin, there is no doubt about that. I like to be exactly on time when I go somewhere, and my husband thinks ‘on time’ is 15 minutes early. Granted, he does have a point if there is an unexpected delay, like a change of clothing after a toothpaste incident or a last minute need to go to the bathroom. But I hate to waste time being early and besides, what about the adrenaline rush? I don’t like yard sales, thought, so I don’t fit that stereotype. Good luck figuring out the fairer sex. After 54 years you should have a head start. 😉

  5. Irwin, I certainly can see some of myself in this post, and you are right…regardless of this day and age, there are clearly some differences (other than the obvious) between women and men. Just yesterday, we went on a daylong tour here in Maui…I spent part of the night packing a bag to take and part of last night unpacking it all (most of not used, but there in case), whereas my husband grabbed his eyedrops on the way out the door! On the other hand, he takes a book into the bathroom to read and stays forever it seems; I go in, do my business and get out! The less time spent in there, the better!!! Too funny!

  6. After 54 years of marriage, it seems that you’ve learned enough to stay in the game 😉 In the end, it seems that’s just about all that’s needed.
    hmmm – if I think it, I’m pretty sure I could come up with an equivalent post about men. The Husband is awfully quirky 😉

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