As evidenced by the title of my blog – Lakeland Musings by Irwin – musings are also ponderings, reflections, reveries, and so forth. When I last posted on this site, I promised that I would be taking a different direction with future blogs and that they would be geared towards either positive stuff or funny stuff. My ponderings over the last few days have drifted into the wild and crazy side of my head but hopefully they will bring a smile to some of your faces and cause you to forget whatever may be bothering you and you too will get lost in my craziness. So here goes:
Being a senior citizen and having been retired now for almost two decades – I have a question to ask:
Once we become a certain age – what makes us an “old fart?” Could it be at the age when we leave the house – walk to the car only to remember that our car keys are still setting on the bedroom dresser. Or better yet, after returning to the house, obtaining the car keys and then making our way back to the garage, realize that we failed to pick up the garage door opener.
Want to really feel like an old fart – let’s take this one step further. And I am not sure the scenario I am about to paint is one of an old fart. My educated guess is that it would be more in line with a pathetic senile individual, but here goes – we are back in the car, garage door opened, ready to put the car in “Drive” when we look down and notice that we do not have our pants on.
Talk about being forgetful and quite possibly a “true old fart!”
But then, let’s look at this from a different vantage point. Okay – so we just turned age 75 and we realize we are slowing down and need more assistance in many of the things we attempt to do on a daily basis. Who do we turn to? Our children! Hmmmm – Remember when you used to hear people talking about their children – you got it – “Be careful how you treat your children in your old age – because they are the ones who may just move you into a retirement home!”
Here is another thing I think of in my spare time – sometimes I think we “old farts” have way too much time on our hands – but here goes: What do we do with our time while waiting to take that final ride? Let’s see – we could go out in our yard or garden and stack the rocks found there – or perhaps we could go to our grandchildren’s birthday party – poke bubble gum up our nose and see how big we can make our bubbles. After all aren’t we just big kids at heart?
Or, since I know many our grandkids just love their high-tech gadgets – we could go visit them and ask them if we could just sit and watch them play computer games. Or another scenario could be – but this would only apply if you are renting your premises – see how many imaginative ways you could come up with to clog your kitchen sink. Then count how many different people the landlord sends over to try to unclog them. Another thought is that we could polish up our skills on the harmonica or trumpet. But chances are, being the age we are, we wouldn’t have enough breath to blow either instrument.
And then being “senior citizens”, we love to go to our high school reunions, if for no other reason, to see how many of our senior high school chums are still around. But, another thing to think about now that we are “old farts” is the worriment that, once you walk into the reunion and your eyes wander around the room – you may say to yourself “where did I make a wrong turn – this doesn’t look like my high-school reunion – it looks as though I wound up in a convalescent home?” Such may be the life of an “old fart.”
My ramblings here are just my way of providing funny or senior moments! Oh, and having lived as long as we have one must realize that many of us are not as limber or quite possibly as active as we used to be thus causing us to take quite a few pain pills on a daily basis. What does this mean – well, it means as an old fart, I know that on the next pain-free day I or other seniors might have, I will be wearing my best suit and someone will, in all probability be saying a eulogy.
Well, there you have it – short and sweet – a brief but hopefully comical take on what the future might – yes I said might – be for those of us that eventually will join the ranks of those individuals known as “old farts.” Hopefully, though this will be a post that you will find comical as I try my best to write funny and off the wall type ramblings but ones that are definitely more positive than negative and ones you may enjoy reading and get a kick out of.
One thing I will add before bringing this crazy article to an end and that is that as a senior citizen or “old fart” if you will, – the years spent since we retired back in 1996 have been some of the funniest, craziest, and most wonderful years of our lives. And if I have anything to say about it – we will have many more years of such antics!
Until next time!