Sorry but I cannot take it anymore – try as I might, I have been unable to come up with a topic that is both informative and worth writing about this morning.

Lately I have been so put out with myself as it relates to my writing. I think about this and that and as is more often the situation, these thoughts come to me when I am not in a place where I can write them down or I am drifting off to sleep and hesitate to get up and jot those thoughts down. The down side of it is that by the time I get to pencil and paper or morning comes around, the muse has left me and all I am dealing with is a bunch of mumbo-jumbo and nothing makes much sense.

So, I decided instead to fall back on a topic that always (or at least almost always) brings a smile to my face and gets me in a good mood. That of comedy!

Lately when I do get to read various newsletters, the topics tend to discuss old-timers. Sometimes it is good – other times it is bad – but one thing tends to stand out and that is – it has been recognized that we (notice I have put myself in the grouping of “old-timers”) are not going away.

And why should we? Think about it – there are quite a few advantages to this aging process:

While not there yet, as an old-timer – who knows I may finally get even with my kids for when I had to change their diapers.

Not being in school anymore – we no longer need to get a bunch of shots – although some wise person did have to come up with the idea that it is best if seniors get their flu shots annually and don’t even get me started about the pneumonia vaccine. But it is only once a year.

Remember that old person’s disease (although it has recently been proven that you no longer have to be old to get it) called Dementia or Alzheimer’s. Well now we can insult those people we don’t like any time we want to and they will just write it off as Dementia or Alzheimer’s. Or quite possibly – they will say – don’t think anything of what he just said – that guy is just plain old cranky!

At our age and living in the south, we no longer have to worry about fashion. Fact is that most of us living in the south live in flip flops and shorts. No longer do we have to worry about putting on a suit. And should that day ever come back, it will probably be because we have to attend the funeral of one of our old-timer friends.

And then there is personal hygiene – we soak our teeth in a jar; use deodorant in lieu of showers, and in our attempt to look like some of the well-known actors on TV today, fail to stand close to our razors thus giving us that scruffy look.

We can stay out late if we want to but to us – late is probably making sure we get home after the early bird special at our favorite restaurant and early bird specials are over by 6 PM .

No longer do we worry about sleeping in – the only thing that will happen is that if they don’t see us for two or three days, someone might just come by to see if we are still alive.

We are now at an age that we tend to sit back and enjoy watching our children deal with their teenage kids and wondering how soon they may ask the question: “Were we that bad when we were growing up and if so – “How did you manage to not have a nervous breakdown?”

Of course, there could be a down-side to being old:

On a different note, now that we are old – on days that we do slip away to go fishing, deep down in our hearts we are probably hoping that we don’t catch anything.

Now that we are old, we don’t enjoy food as much anymore because it is probably salt-free, fat-free, cholesterol-free, and taste-free.

We know that it is possible that on the next pain-free day we have, we may be wearing that suit mentioned above and someone will be saying a eulogy.

And finally, especially after that last down-side about being old, as we age and become older, we come to the realization that, like youth and many other things we have experienced in this life of ours, we will also outgrow old age.

But!!!! Yup – you know me, there is always a but!  In the words of:

Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway: Saga of a Desperate Southern Gentleman, 1955-1967

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”

Until next time!

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